Jacques: The postman verifies, or discusses, the signification of the
hieroglyphics. The postman finally advances the amount, and sets out.
John: Go on.
Jacques: The postman goes to the party to whom a letter is addressed,
and knocks at the door. A servant opens. There are six letters for
that address. The postages are added up, separately at first, then
altogether. They amount to 2 francs 70 centimes (2s. 3d.).
John: Go on.
Jacques: The servant goes in search of his master. The latter proceeds
to verify the hieroglyphics. He mistakes the threes for twos and the
nines for fours. He has doubts about the weights and distances. In
short, he has to ask the postman to walk upstairs, and on the way he
tries to find out the signatures of the letters, thinking it may be
prudent to refuse some of them.
John: Go on.
Jacques: The postman when he has got upstairs pleads the cause of
the post-office. They argue, they examine, they weigh, they calculate
distances--at length the party agrees to receive five of the letters,
and refuses one.
John: Go on.
Jacques: What remains is to pay the postage. The servant is sent to the
grocer for change. After a delay of twenty minutes he returns, and
the postman is at length set free, and rushes from door to door, to go
through the same ceremony at each.
John: Go on.
Jacques: He returns to the post-office. He counts and recounts with the
postmaster. He returns the letters refused, and gets repayment of
his advances for these. He reports the objections of the parties with
reference to weight and distance.
John: Go on.
Jacques: The postmaster has to refer to the registers, letter-bags, and
special slips, in order to make up an account of the letters which have
been refused.
John: Go on, if you please.
Jacques: I am thankful I am not a postmaster. We now come to accounts in
dozens and scores at the end of the month; to contrivances invented not
only to establish, but to check and control a minute responsibility,
involving a total of 50 millions of francs, made up of postages
amounting on an average to 43 centimes each (less than 4d.), and of
116 millions of letters, each of which may belong to one or other of 242
categories.
John: A very complicated simplicity truly! The man who has resolved this
problem must have a hundred times more genius than your Mons. Piron or
our Rowland Hill.
Jacques: Well, you seem to laugh at our system. Would you explain yours
to me?
John: In England, the government causes to be sold all over the country,
wherever it is judged useful, stamps, envelopes, and covers at a penny
apiece.
Jacques: And after that?
John: You write your letter, fold it, put it in the envelope, and throw
it into the post-office.
Jacques: And after that?
John: "After that"--why, that is the whole affair. We have nothing to do
with distances, bulletins, registers, control, or accounting; we have
no money to give or to receive, and no concern with hieroglyphics,
discussions, interpretations, etc., etc.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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