Education; Educational psychology; Moral education
their children those physical and mental characteristics which produce
expansive affections.
Not only must children not be commanded to love their parents, but
nothing must be done which has this result as its object. Parental
affection, at its best, differs from sex-love in this respect. It is
of the essence of sex-love to seek a response, as is natural, since,
without a response, it cannot fulfil its biological function. But it
is not of the essence of parental love to seek a response. The natural
unsophisticated parental instinct feels towards the child as towards
an externalized part of the parent’s body. If your great toe is out
of order, you attend to it from self-interest, and you do not expect
it to feel grateful. The savage woman, I imagine, has a very similar
feeling towards her child. She desires its welfare in just the same
way as she desires her own, especially while it is still very young.
She has no more sense of self-denial in looking after the child than
in looking after herself; and for that very reason she does not look
for gratitude. The child’s need of her is sufficient response so long
as it is helpless. Later, when it begins to grow up, her affection
diminishes and her demands may increase. In animals, parental affection
ceases when the child is adult, and no demands are made upon it; but
in human beings, even if they are very primitive, this is not the
case. A son who is a lusty warrior is expected to feed and protect his
parents when they are old and decrepit; the story of Æneas and Anchises
embodies this feeling at a higher level of culture. With the growth
of foresight, there is an increasing tendency to exploit children’s
affections for the sake of their help when old age comes. Hence the
principle of filial piety, which has existed throughout the world and
is embodied in the Fifth Commandment. With the development of private
property and ordered government, filial piety becomes less important;
after some centuries, people become aware of this fact, and the
sentiment goes out of fashion. In the modern world, a man of fifty may
be financially dependent upon a parent of eighty, so that the important
thing is still the affection of the parent for the child rather than
of the child for the parent. This, of course, applies chiefly to
the propertied classes; among wage-earners, the older relationship
persists. But even there it is being gradually displaced as a result
of old-age pensions and similar measures. Affection of children for
parents, therefore, is ceasing to deserve a place among cardinal
virtues, while affection of parents for children remains of enormous
importance.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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