Education; Educational psychology; Moral education
Children who are not suppressed ask innumerable questions, some
intelligent, others quite the reverse. These questions are often
wearisome, and sometimes inconvenient. But they must be answered
truthfully, to the best of your ability. If the child asks you a
question connected with religion, say exactly what you think, even if
you contradict some other grown-up person who thinks differently. If
he asks you about death, answer him. If he asks you questions designed
to show that you are wicked or foolish, answer him. If he asks you
about war, or capital punishment, answer him. Do not put him off
with “you can’t understand that yet”, except in difficult scientific
matters, such as how electric light is made. And even then, make it
clear that the answer is a pleasure in store for him, as soon as he
has learnt rather more than he now knows. Tell him rather more than he
can understand, not rather less; the part he fails to understand will
stimulate his curiosity and his intellectual ambition.
Invariable truthfulness to a child reaps its reward in increased trust.
The child has a natural tendency to believe what you say, except when
it runs counter to a strong desire, as in the case of the Easter eggs
which I mentioned just now. A little experience of the truth of your
remarks even in these cases enables you to win belief easily and
without emphasis. But if you have been in the habit of threatening
consequences which did not happen, you will have to become more and
more insistent and terrifying, and in the end you will only produce
a state of nervous uncertainty. One day my boy wanted to paddle in a
stream, but I told him not to, because I thought there were bits of
broken crockery which would cut his feet. His desire was keen, so he
was sceptical about the crockery; but after I had found a piece and
shown him the sharp edge, he became entirely acquiescent. If I had
invented the crockery for my own convenience, I should have lost his
confidence. If I had not found any, I should have let him paddle.
In consequence of repeated experiences of this sort, he has almost
entirely ceased to be sceptical of my reasons.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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