Eighteen Months' ImprisonmentShaw, Donald, late captain
General
Eighteen Months' Imprisonment
Shaw, Donald, late captain
Prisons -- Great Britain
persistently ignored her, and, losing all patience, I entered on a course
little short of starvation. I took a solemn oath that I would for one
week confine myself to six ounces of bread and six mouthfuls of water a
day (six ounces of bread will be found to be synonymous to six mouthfuls,
and no more). During the first 48 hours my appetite became ravenous, and
on the third and fourth days the pains of hell did indeed get hold of me;
and it was as much as I could do to resist the temptation of taking one
mouthful of the savoury broth and mutton that was lying untouched on my
table. The trial now became almost more than I could bear, and more than
once I approached the table, where the food would have to remain for an
hour, but at the last moment drew back. So acute, indeed, did I find
this agony that, to avoid temptation and to put it out of my power, I
used to throw the food into the slop-pail. After a few days, the
cravings of appetite began to cease, and I congratulated myself that I
was getting accustomed to it. An accidental circumstance also prevented
my testing the result at the end of the seven days, and I continued in my
madness for another week. On being weighed I then found I had lost nine
or ten pounds. My appetite meanwhile had entirely forsaken me; the smell
and even the sight of meat produced nausea, my eyes seemed to be
affected, my head began to swim, I became giddy without cause. I was now
really ill, and I endeavoured to remedy the evil, but my stomach refused
nourishment, and if I ate I was immediately sick. The possibility of
having fatally injured myself so alarmed me that I saw the surgeon, who
prescribed tonics and a change of diet; and, as all failed in restoring
outraged nature, I was admitted into hospital. During this time Dr.
Tanner and his starvation exhibition were constantly in my mind, and the
man I had once associated with the performance of a wonderful feat of
self-denial descended in my mind to the level of a poor sick man like
myself, absolutely incapable of taking food. Starvation has an ugly
sound, and in its first stages is unquestionably painful; but in a very
few days (three or four at the most) the sensation passes away, and is
succeeded by an absolute aversion to food. When I have seen a
half-starved man in the streets who has told me he has not tasted food
for a week and was “so ’ungry,” my bowels of compassion have always been
moved. If any mendicant was to tell me so now, I should know he was
lying and refuse to assist him; but if he said he had not eaten for two
days and was in agony, I should pity him and give him sixpence if I had
it. I shall give a detailed account of my life in hospital, and the
incredible kindness and consideration I received, later on. Meanwhile I
will confine myself to the assertion, that to such an extent had I
injured myself that in six weeks I had lost two stone. On one’s
admission into hospital one is at once put to bed, and one’s clothes
removed.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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