Eli's Children: The Chronicles of an Unhappy FamilyFenn, George Manville
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Eli's Children: The Chronicles of an Unhappy Family
Fenn, George Manville
Dysfunctional families -- Fiction
He waited, and at the appointed time--at the end of another week--a
letter came, very similar to the last, and in which she said that she
would have written as usual, only that she was very busy.
"Very busy," said Luke to himself, as he sat in his dingy room, gazing
straight before him, through the dull window, at the smoky chimney-pots,
but seeing, as in a picture, the interior of Lawford Girls' School, with
its mistress moving from class to class. "Very busy."
He sighed deeply, and went on with his reading.
From that time Sage's letters came fortnightly, Luke sending two for
one, but he made no complaint, keeping rigidly to his old stern
determination.
"I said I would place myself in a worthy position to win her," he said.
"That I will do. What is more, I will be faithful, come what may--
faithful, even in my belief in her."
He sat, hot of eye and weary of brain, thinking whether he ought not to
go down and see why this gradual change was taking place, but in his
stern repression of self he felt that to go down unexpectedly would be
like mistrusting the woman he hoped to make his wife, and this he could
not bear.
Study--hard study--was Luke Ross's medicine for a mind diseased, and
whenever doubting thoughts and mistrust came hand in hand to torture him
he forced himself to attend to his studies, making, by prodigious
efforts, great advances in the learned treatises he was striving to
master, but only at the expense of his health.
"It is for Sage," he said, by way of encouragement, and when doubts
became very strong he held up the shield of his faith.
"No," he would say aloud, "writing is, perhaps, irksome to one who has
so much to do, but her heart is mine, and save from her own lips I would
never believe that she could let it stray."
In his stern determination to master the profession for which he was
reading, Luke Ross only allowed himself a very rare visit home; and
though he had felt frequent urgings of late he fought them down, setting
his teeth, and vowing that he would not go before the appointed time.
It was a terrible fight when once the dire attacks of doubt were made,
and repeated from day to day, for during the weeks of the past month
Sage's letters had grown more irregular still, as if she felt emboldened
to be more careless from that absence of reproach. But the truth was
that every letter from London was read by Sage with bitter misery and
reproach, and her replies were often so blotted with tears that they
were destroyed instead of being posted, and it was only those which
escaped the fire which he received.
It only wanted a week of the time he had settled in his own mind, and in
spite of his efforts to be calm, it was almost more than he could do to
keep on with his task. A strong feeling was urging him to go down at
once, see Sage, and learn the worst, for a fortnight had again passed
and no letter.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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