'What I say. If you suppose that _I'm_ going to stay on here to bear
the brunt of father's temper after he knows that I've made you throw
up, you're entirely mistaken.'
'Then what do you propose?'
'I don't know what I propose,' said Pamela, shaking from head to
foot, 'but if you say a word to father about it I shall simply
disappear. I shall be able to earn my own living somehow.'
The two confronted each other.
'And you really think I can go on after this as if nothing had
happened?' said Elizabeth, in a low voice.
Pangs of remorse were seizing on Pamela, but she stifled them.
'There's a way out!' she said presently, her colour coming and
going. 'I'll go and stay with Margaret in town for a bit. Why should
there be any fuss? She's asked me often to help with her
war-workroom and the canteen. Father won't mind. He doesn't care in
the least what I do! And nobody will think it a bit odd--if you and
I don't talk.'
Elizabeth turned away. The touch of scorn in her bearing was not
lost on Pamela.
'And if I refuse to stay on, without saying or doing anything--to
put myself right--you threaten to run away?'
'I do--I mean it,' said Pamela firmly. She had not only hardened
again under the sting of that contempt she detected in Elizabeth,
but there was rising up in her a sudden and rapturous vision of
London:--Arthur at the War Office--herself on open ground--no longer
interfered with and over-shadowed. He would come to see her--take
her out, perhaps, sometimes to an exhibition, or for a walk. The
suggestion of going to Margaret had been made on the spur of the
moment without after-thought. She was now wedded to it, divining in
it a hundred possibilities.
At the same moment she became more cautious, and more ashamed of
herself. It would be better to apologize. But before she could speak
Elizabeth said:
'Does Desmond agree with what you have been saying?'
Pamela staring at her adversary was a little frightened. She rushed
into a falsehood.
'Desmond knows nothing about it! I don't want him dragged in.'
Elizabeth's eyes, with their bitter, wounded look; seemed to search
the girl's inmost mind. Then she moved away.
'We had better go to bed. We shall both want to think it over.
Good-night.'
And from the darkness of the hall, where fire and lamp were dying,
Pamela half spell-bound, watched the tall figure of Elizabeth slowly
mounting the broad staircase at the further end, the candle-light
flickering on her bright hair, and on a bunch of snowdrops in her
breast.
Then, for an hour, while the house sank into silence, Pamela sat
crouched and shivering by the only log left in the grate. 'A little
while ago,' she was thinking miserably, 'I had good feelings and
ideas--I never hated anybody. I never told lies. I suppose--I shall
get worse and worse.'
And when she had gone wearily to bed, it was to cry herself to
sleep.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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