'Oh, why was I such a fool about Elizabeth! Now that you are at a safe distance--and of course on the understanding that you never, never say a word to me about it--I positively will and must confess that I was jealous of her about you--yes, about you, Arthur--because you talked to her about Greek--and about ash for aeroplanes--and I couldn't talk about them. There's a nice nature for you! Hadn't you better get rid of me while you can? But the thing that torments me is that I can never have it quite out with Desmond. I told him lies, simply. I didn't know they were lies, I suppose; but I was too angry and too unjust to care whether they were or not. On the journey from France I said a few little words to him--just enough, thank Heaven! He was so sweet to her in those last days--and she to him. You know one side of her _is_ the managing woman--and the other (I've only found it out since Desmond's death)--well, she seems to be just asking you to creep under her wings and be mothered! She mothered him, and she has mothered me since he shut his dear eyes for ever. Oh, why won't she mother us all--for good and all!--father first and foremost. 'I told you something about him last time I wrote, but there is a great deal more to tell. The horrible thing is that he seems not to care any more for any of his old hobbies. He sits there in the library day after day, or walks about it for hours and hours, without ever opening a book or looking at a thing. Or else he walks about the woods--sometimes quite late at night. Forest believes he sleeps very little. I told you he never came to Desmond's funeral. All business he hands over to Elizabeth, and what she asks him he generally does. But we all have vague, black fears about him. I know Elizabeth has. Yet she is quite clear she can't stay here much longer. Dear Arthur, I don't know exactly what happened, but I _think_ father asked her to marry him, and she said no. And I am tolerably sure that I counted for a good deal in it--horrid wretch that I am!--that she thought it would make me unhappy.