Now if you chance to be a Gallant not much crost
among Citizens, that is, a Gallant in the Mercers
bookes, exalted for Sattens and veluets, if you be not
so much blest to bee crost as I hold it the greatest
blessing in the world, to bee great in no mans
bookes) your Powles walke is your onely refuge: the
Dukes Tomb is a Sanctuary, and will keepe you aliue
from wormes and land-rattes, that long to be feeding
on your carkas: there you may spend your legs in
winter a whole after-noone: conuerse, plot, laugh,
and talke any thing, iest at your Creditor, euen to
his face, and in the euening, euen by lamp-light,
steale out, and so cozen a whole couy of abhominable
catch-pols. Neuer / be seene to mount the steppes
into the quire, but vpon a high Festiuall day, to
preferre the fashion of your doublet, and especially
if the singing-boyes seeme to take note of you: for
they are able to buzze your praises aboue their
_Anthems_, if their voyces haue not lost their maiden-heads:
but be sure your siluer spurres dog your
heeles, and then the Boyes will swarme about you
like so many white butter-flyes, when you in the open
Quire shall drawe forth a perfumed embrodred purse
(the glorious sight of which will entice many Countrymen
from their deuotion to wondering) and quoyt
siluer into the Boyes handes, that it may be heard
aboue the first lesson, although it be reade in a voyce
as big as one of the great Organs.
This noble and notable Act being performed, you
are to vanish presently out of the Quire, and to
appeare againe in the walk: But in any wise be not
obserued to tread there long alone: for feare you be
suspected to be a Gallant casheerd from the society
of _Captens_ and _Fighters_.
Sucke this humour vp especially. Put off to
none, vnlesse his hatband be of a newer fashion then
yours, and three degrees quainter: but for him that
weares a trebled cipers about his hatte (though he
were an Aldermans sonne) neuer moue to him: for
hees suspected to be worse then a _Gull_, and not
worth the putting off to, that cannot obserue the
time of his hatband, nor know what fashioned block
is most kin to his head: for, in my opinion, ye
braine that cannot choose his Felt well (being the
head ornament) must needes powre folly into all the
rest of the members, and be an absolute confirmed
Foole in _Summâ Totali_.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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