Mary, if either the company, or indisposition of the weather binde you to sit it out, my counsell is then that you turne plain Ape, take vp a rush, and tickle the earnest eares of your fellow gallants, to make other fooles fall a laughing: mewe at passionate speeches, blare at merrie, finde fault with the musicke, whew at the childrens Action, whistle at the songs: and aboue all, curse the sharers, that whereas the same day you had bestowed forty shillings on an embrodered Felt and Feather (scotch-fashion) for your mistres in the Court, or your punck in the city, within two houres after, you encounter with the very same block on the stage, when the haberdasher swore to you the impression was extant but that morning. To conclude, hoard vp the finest play-scraps you can get, vpon which your leane wit may most sauourly feede, for want of other stuffe, when the _Arcadian_ and _Euphuizd_ gentlewomen haue their tongues sharpened to set vpon you: that qualitie (next to your shittlecocke) is the onely furniture to a Courtier thats but a new beginner, and is but in his A B C of complement. The next places that are fild, after the Playhouses bee emptied, are (or ought to be) Tauernes: into a Tauerne then let vs next march, where the braines of one Hogshead must be beaten out to make vp another. CHAPTER VII How a Gallant should behaue himself in a Tauerne. WHOSOEUER desires to bee a man of good reckoning in the Cittie, and (like your French Lord) to haue as many tables furnisht as Lackies (who, when they keepe least, keepe none), whether he be a yong _Quat_ of the first yeeres reuennew, or some austere and sullen-facd steward, who (in despight of a great beard, a satten suite, and a chaine of gold wrapt in cipers) proclaimes himselfe to any (but to those to whom his Lord owes money) for a ranck coxcombe, or whether he be a country gentleman, that brings his / wife vp to learne the fashion, see the Tombs at Westminster, the Lyons in the Tower, or to take physicke; or else is some yong Farmer, who many times makes his wife (in the country) beleeue he hath suits in law, because he will come vp to his letchery: be he of what stamp he will that hath money in his purse, and a good conscience to spend it, my councell is that hee take his continuall diet at a Tauerne, which (out of question) is the onely _Rende-vous_ of boone company; and the Drawers the most nimble, the most bold, and most sudden proclaimers of your largest bounty.