"I do not intend to marry Edward Middleton," I said; "I never
will inflict upon him a wife, whose heart and whose life
cannot be laid open before him. I would sooner die than reveal
to him the dissimulation I have already practised, the threats
I have heard from your lips, the words of love I have been
compelled to endure from you,--from you, the husband of Alice,
of whom you are as unworthy, as I am of him. No, I shall never
be Edward's wife; I never will bring sorrow and disgrace upon
_him_. I have stooped to deceit; I am entangled in falsehood;
I must drink of the poisoned cup which you hold to my lips;
but, with _you_ at least, I will be true! Since there are to
be no secrets between us, Henry Lovell, I will tell you what I
have never told any human being; and that is, that I love
Edward with all the powers of my soul; with all the passion,
and all the tenderness, which outlives hope, and feeds upon
despair!"
As this burst of wounded feeling escaped from me, I laid my
hand on the sacred book before me, and, turning to Henry with
flashing eyes and glowing cheeks, I said, "What are your
conditions?--dictate them."
Again I saw in his face the fearful expression which recalled
to me the scene on the sea-shore at--Bay.
"I make none," he replied, with a withering sneer; "I leave
you to the tender mercies of those whom you love. When Edward
learns, not from me, but from one who shares with me the
secret of Julia's death, the details of that catastrophe; you
may then seek for consolation and tenderness at his hands."
I saw, by a sudden change in Henry's countenance, how deadly
pale, how dreadfully agitated mine must have been, for he
looked almost as terrified as I felt; and, giving one rapid
glance into the next room, he seized on some water that was on
the table, and held it to my lips. I swallowed a few drops;
and in a hoarse voice articulated--"Speak, speak!"
"Swear solemnly," he cried; "call God to witness, that you
will never reveal to Edward the facts that I will now disclose
to you, nor the history of Julia's death."
"I do; so help me God! and may He judge between you and me!
Speak, while I have strength to hear you!"
"Your strength is not likely to fail you," he retorted, with a
sneer; "for your courage and your eloquence seem always equal
to the task of braving and insulting me: when you hear what I
have now to tell, perhaps you will regret the harshness of
your language."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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