There was to be a ball the next night at a Mrs. Miltown's, a
sister-in-law of Mrs. Brandon, And among my good resolutions
bad been that of excusing myself, on some pretext or other,
from going to it, for I did not know how to comply with Mr.
Middleton's orders with respect to Henry, without irritating
the latter in a way which I dreaded to encounter. What made me
most uneasy was, that quite contrary to his usual habits, my
uncle had announced his intention of going with us to this
ball, and I could not help thinking that it was for the
express purpose of watching me, and under his severe and
observant eye, it would be next to impossible to convey to
Henry the explanation which would account for my change of
manner to him; but now that my whole soul was bent on finding
out who the person was to whom my uncle hoped that Edward
would devote himself, every other consideration gave way
before that overwhelming interest. I could not have imagined
beforehand to what a degree it would have harassed me. I felt
as if the time that was to intervene between that evening and
the next would be interminable; the images of Henry, of Alice,
of Mrs. Tracy, faded away before the phantom which my
imagination had conjured up, and it was with feverish
impatience that I awaited the approach of that hour which I
thought would confirm or dispel my fears. It came at last, as
all hours do, whether they have been longed for with all the
intensity of ardent expectation, or dreaded with all the
anguish of terrified apprehension.
When I came down to the drawing-room, dressed for the ball,
Mrs. Middleton exclaimed, "You look unlike yourself to-night,
Ellen I Have you done your hair differently from usual? No"
(she continued, as she passed her hand gently over my
forehead)--"no, it is not that; I can't make it out: that
darling face of yours changes often enough from sunshine to
clouds, and from clouds to sunshine; but I never saw it look
just like to-night."
I kissed her fondly, but said with some impatience, "Let us
go--we are very late."
We went accordingly, and my uncle with us. When we entered the
room, it was crowded to suffocation, and we made our way with
difficulty to some seats, near which Mrs. Miltown and Mrs.
Brandon were. Henry was talking to the latter when we came up
to them; he gave me his chair, and ensconced himself in a
corner behind us. I felt that Mr. Middleton's eye was upon me,
and I entered into conversation in the most eager manner with
Mrs. Brandon, in order to avoid speaking to him. He bore it
for a little while; but soon touching my arm gently, he said
in a low voice, "Come and dance; I want to speak to you."
I answered in the same tone, "No, I can't--don't ask me."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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