"The last time I saw you, my dear Henry, you gave me reason to
hope that I might in future consider you as a friend. You bade
me open my heart to you, and seek your aid when new
difficulties should beset my path. The moment is come when I
must do so, and if you will not, if you cannot, save me,
nothing can. I once told you, that I never intended to marry
Edward; and, believe me (you know I have ever spoken the truth
to _you_, Henry, even at the risk of rousing your utmost
anger); believe me, when I say that _then_, and even as late
as twelve hours ago, such a resolution was the steady purpose
of my soul. An involuntary, spontaneous acknowledgment of
affection, which escaped me in a moment of imminent peril to
him, incurred in rescuing me from a similar peril, was
followed by an assumption on his part, that our marriage was
to be the natural result of such a confession. My uncle
considered it in the same light; and I found myself involved
in an engagement, which, in cool blood, I could never have
contracted. An attack of illness, resulting from the events of
the morning, has since kept Edward in a state which would have
made any extraordinary emotion dangerous in the extreme.
Against my will, and at the same time, impressing this warning
upon me, my aunt took me to him, and in terror for his health,
with outward calmness, and inward shame and misgivings, I gave
the promise, which must lead to my ruin, unless you can save
me. I do not ask your aid, Henry, as a girl who wishes to
marry her lover, and frets at the obstacles in her way. No; if
at this moment I could cancel the events of this day, and
place myself again in the position in which I stood yesterday,
I would do so; but, as it is, on cither side, I see nothing
now but disgrace and misery; and from these I implore you to
rescue me. I do not know how far you have the power to do so.
I cannot help thinking that your influence with that terrible
woman must be great; hitherto I have doubted your willingness
to exert it in my behalf; but, in the circumstances in which I
now stand, I feel a strong confidence, that what you can do
for me, you will do. I have obtained from Edward, that our
engagement shall be kept a secret for a few days, which will
give you time to act in my behalf, and to communicate with me
on the subject. Obliged to conceal the torturing anxiety of my
soul from those about me, miserable in the midst of what ought
to be my happiness, I feel some comfort in speaking openly to
you, and in looking to you for aid, for consolation, and for
sympathy. _You_ know my sufferings; _you_ know my guilt and my
innocence, my life's deceit, and my soul's truth. _You_ will
pity me; _you_ will help me; and, in this hope, I make my
appeal to you.
"E.M."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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