I dreamed that night that I was in church, and that everything
was prepared for my marriage. We stood before the altar, and
the priest opened the book for the marriage service; but as he
began, it was the burial service that he read. They stopped
him, and he turned the pages; but ever as he began again to
read, the same words came to his lips, and the book in his
hands grew larger and larger, and the words, "For the Burial
of the Dead," stood out in bloody letters, and seemed to rise
from the page. I looked up into the priest's face, and that
was changing too. I had seen those features before; but I knew
them not till the thin lips moved, and said--"Julia's
murderer--Julia's murderer!" And then the book and the altar
were gone, and a coffin stood in its place; and the same voice
said, "Open it!"--and the lid rose, and there was a corpse in
its shroud. It lifted itself up slowly, and I could not see
the face; but I cried out in terror "Who is it?" and the
grave-clothes fell--it was Alice! I closed my eyes and
shrieked; and the same voice said, "Look again--look again!" I
looked, and it was Edward. Over and over again, during that
night, I awoke in speechless terror; and when I went to sleep
again, the same dream, with slight variations, haunted me
anew.
The last time I woke, Mrs. Middleton was standing by my
bed-side; and as she pressed me to her heart, I clung to her
convulsively, and repeated wildly, "Save me--save me!"
"From what, my child?" she whispered--"from what? Speak to me,
Ellen. One word only; and at whatever cost it may be, it shall
be done. Is it possible you do not love Edward?"
"O, too much! only too much!" I exclaimed, and burst into an
agony of tears. Mrs. Middleton seemed relieved--assured me I
was only very nervous--gave me something to drink, which
calmed me--and stayed with me while I dressed.
We sat down to breakfast, and Edward soon arrived; he remarked
my paleness, and spoke to me with a tenderness which brought
again into my eyes the tears which I had resolutely repressed
during the last hour. The time drew near, and I was taken to
my room to put on my wedding-gown. By the time I was dressed,
and the whole of the family were gathered together to look at
me, and blessings were pronounced, and good wishes were
uttered, and kisses were given, I had become quite calm again.
I had gone through so much that the power of emotion seemed
almost worn out, and I felt as if I had grown callous and
cold. We drove to church, and I looked quietly out of window
while my hand was locked in Mrs. Middleton's. I saw two or
three acquaintances as we drove along, and read the names on
the shops that we passed, with that kind of mechanical
attention which fixes our eyes without occupying our thoughts.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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