"Your character is gone, your reputation is lost, you are for
ever parted from Edward. Nothing remains to you now but the
proffered devotion of my whole life. I have not returned to my
detested home since the last scene that drove me from it, and
never shall again. As long as you live I shall be at your
side; wherever you go I shall follow you. There is a wild joy
in my heart, for our destiny is accomplished; and henceforward
we must be all in all to each other. Ellen, idol of my soul,
you shall be mine. The excess of my love must win back love at
last. Write me one line; tell me where you go; what you do.
Life has not strength, language has not words, for this
tumultuous fever of agitation, for this hour of love and
terror, of anguish and of joy."
I tore open the next letter, and read as follows:
"My blessed child, I shall see you to-morrow, and I can feel
_almost_ happy in that prospect. You and Edward occupied your
uncle's last thoughts; and on you both he pronounced his last
blessing. The sight of your mutual happiness, your devotion to
each other, will seem to me a tribute to his memory, and a
consolation to my own sorrows. Edward has been as a son to me
in my affliction, and I like to think that in you he possesses
the greatest blessing that my grateful tenderness could desire
for him.
"I wish I could feel happy about Henry and Alice; I had hoped
that the birth of their child would have made him more
domestic, and drawn them more closely together; but, except a
few hurried lines in which he announced the fact to me, and
another short letter since, I have heard nothing from him; and
I have received a strange one from her grandmother. She
insists upon seeing me immediately on my return to England,
and speaks of communicating some dreadful secret to me. If I
did not think her mad, this would frighten me; but her
language and conduct ever since the marriage have been so
strange, that I suspect she must be out of her mind. I shall
go to Henry's house at once on my arrival to-morrow; and by
the middle of the day I hope to be once more with you, my
beloved and precious child. The past is sad, the future is
gloomy; I have many fears and disquietudes; but _you_ are my
light in darkness, my bird of peace amid the storms of life;
and in your happiness I shall forget my own sorrows. Give my
best love to dearest Edward.
"Ever your most affectionate,
"M. M."
The cup was full at last; I was drinking it to the dregs; what
wonder if it turned my brain? Banished for ever by
Edward--persecuted by Henry's fatal passion--denounced to Mrs.
Middleton--accused of murder--what was I doing here? Could I
not walk out, and, in the black cold depths of the river,
still for ever the passionate beating of that heart which had
throbbed so long? Could I not swallow poison; and, in the
agonies of deaths send for Edward?
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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