Our encounter took place soon after I had read the volumes Mrs. Highmore
had left with me, in which I recognised an intention of a sort that
I had then pretty well given up the hope of meeting. I daresay that
without knowing it I had been looking out rather hungrily for an altar
of sacrifice: however that may be I submitted when I came across Ralph
Limbert to one of the rarest emotions of my literary life, the sense
of an activity in which I could critically rest. The rest was deep and
salutary, and it has not been disturbed to this hour. It has been
a long, large surrender, the luxury of dropped discriminations. He
couldn’t trouble me, whatever he did, for I practically enjoyed him as
much when he was worse as when he was better. It was a case, I suppose,
of natural prearrangement, in which, I hasten to add, I keep excellent
company. We are a numerous band, partakers of the same repose, who sit
together in the shade of the tree, by the plash of the fountain, with
the glare of the desert around us and no great vice that I know of but
the habit perhaps of estimating people a little too much by what they
think of a certain style. If it had been laid upon these few pages,
none the less, to be the history of an enthusiasm, I should not have
undertaken them: they are concerned with Ralph Limbert in relations to
which I was a stranger or in which I participated only by sympathy. I
used to talk about his work, but I seldom talk now: the brotherhood of
the faith have become, like the Trappists, a silent order. If to the
day of his death, after mortal disenchantments, the impression he first
produced always evoked the word “ingenuous,” those to whom his face was
familiar can easily imagine what it must have been when it still had the
light of youth. I had never seen a man of genius look so passive, a man
of experience so off his guard. At the period I made his acquaintance
this freshness was all un-brushed. His foot had begun to stumble, but he
was full of big intentions and of sweet Maud Stannace. Black-haired and
pale, deceptively languid, he had the eyes of a clever child and the
voice of a bronze bell. He saw more even than I had done in the girl
he was engaged to; as time went on I became conscious that we had both,
properly enough, seen rather more than there was. Our odd situation,
that of the three of us, became perfectly possible from the moment I
observed that he had more patience with her than I should have had. I
was happy at not having to supply this quantity, and she, on her side,
found pleasure in being able to be impertinent to me without incurring
the reproach of a bad wife.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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