If something less had depended on my impression I daresay I should have
communicated it as soon as I had swallowed my breakfast; but the
case was so embarrassing that I spent the first half of the day in
reconsidering it, dipping into the book again, almost feverishly turning
its leaves and trying to extract from them, for my friend’s benefit,
some symptom of reassurance, some ground for felicitation. This rash
challenge had consequences merely dreadful; the wretched volumes,
imperturbable and impeccable, with their shyer secrets and their second
line of defence, were like a beautiful woman more denuded or a great
symphony on a new hearing. There was something quite sinister in the way
they stood up to me. I couldn’t however be dumb--that was to give the
wrong tinge to my disappointment; so that later in the afternoon, taking
my courage in both hands, I approached with a vain tortuosity poor
Limbert’s door. A smart victoria waited before it in which from the
bottom of the street I saw that a lady who had apparently just issued
from the house was settling herself. I recognised Jane Highmore and
instantly paused till she should drive down to me. She presently met me
half-way and as soon as she saw me stopped her carriage in agitation.
This was a relief--it postponed a moment the sight of that pale, fine
face of our friend’s fronting me for the right verdict. I gathered from
the flushed eagerness with which Mrs. Highmore asked me if I had heard
the news that a verdict of some sort had already been rendered.
“What news?--about the book?”
“About that horrid magazine. They’re shockingly upset. He has lost his
position--he has had a fearful flare-up with Mr. Bousefield.”
I stood there blank, but not unaware in my blankness of how history
repeats itself. There came to me across the years Maud’s announcement
of their ejection from the _Beacon_, and dimly, confusedly the same
explanation was in the air. This time however I had been on my guard;
I had had my suspicion. “He has made it too flippant?” I found breath
after an instant to inquire.
Mrs. Highmore’s vacuity exceeded my own. “Too ‘flippant’? He has made it
too oracular. Mr. Bousefield says he has killed it.” Then perceiving my
stupefaction: “Don’t you know what has happened?” she pursued; “isn’t it
because in his trouble, poor love, he has sent for you that you’ve come?
You’ve heard nothing at all? Then you had better know before you see
them. Get in here with me--I’ll take you a turn and tell you.” We were
close to the Park, the Regent’s, and when with extreme alacrity I had
placed myself beside her and the carriage had begun to enter it she went
on: “It was what I feared, you know. It reeked with culture. He keyed it
up too high.”
I felt myself sinking in the general collapse. “What are you talking
about?”
“Why, about that beastly magazine. They’re all on the streets. I shall
have to take mamma.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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