He next purchased a large sugar-baker's business in Puddle Dock. His
parsimony now became extreme: he kept no table, but obtained the
greater part of his daily food by well-timed visits to persons of his
acquaintance. He had good conversational powers, and these he usually
turned to his profit. Sometimes, when walking the streets, he fell
down in a pretended fit, opposite to the house of one whose bounty
he sought. No humane person could well refuse admission to a man in
apparent distress and of respectable appearance, whose well-powdered
wig and long ruffles induced a belief that he was some decayed citizen
who had seen better days. For the assistance thus kindly given he
would express his gratitude in the most energetic manner. He would ask
for a glass of water, but if wine was offered, he said, "No, he never
drank anything but water;" but when pressed by his kind host, would
take it, and exclaim, "God bless my soul, sir, this is very excellent
wine! Pray, sir, who is your wine merchant? for indeed, to tell you the
truth, it was the difficulty of getting good wine that caused me to
leave it off entirely." Upon invitation, he would take another glass,
and thanking his host, depart. A few days after, he would call at the
house of his kind entertainer just at dinner-time, professedly to thank
him for having saved his life, and on being invited to dine would at
first demur, urging that "My gruel is waiting for me at home." On
sitting down to dinner he would take notice of the children; and after
great pretended kindness, would say to the mother, "God bless them,
pretty dears. Pray, madam, will you have the goodness to give me all
their names in writing?" Thus artfully did he contrive to make his
kind entertainers think that he designed to do some good thing for
their children; and they now sought the continuance of his friendship
by occasional presents of game or a dozen or two of the wine he had so
much approved.
Many persons were in this way made the victims of Cooke's sophistries.
By these gifts, his housekeeping expenses were reduced to fifteen-pence
a day, and it was sinful extravagance if they reached two shillings.
Such comestibles as he could not consume, he disposed of to the
dealers and others. He drank only water, but as for the "gormandizing,
gluttonous maids, they could not drink, not they, what he did; nothing
would serve them but table-beer." This he kept in his front parlour,
with a lock-tap to it, of which he held the key, and at meal-times he
drew exactly half-a-pint for each woman.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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