When the Whigs came into power in 1806, they turned out everybody, even Lord Sandwich, the master of the stag-hounds. The king met his lordship soon after. “How do you do?” cried his majesty. “So they have turned you off? it was not my fault, upon my honour, for it was as much as I could do to keep my own place.” DEFINITIONS. Horne Tooke, in his “Diversions of Purley,” introduces the derivation of King Pipin from the Greek noun _osper_, as thus,--osper, eper, oper; diaper; napkin, nipkin pipkin, pepin king--King Pipin! And, in another work, we find the etymology of pickled cucumber from King Jeremiah! _exempli gratia_--King Jeremiah, Jeremiah King; Jerry, king; jerkin, gerkin, pickled cucumber! Also, the name of Mr. Fox, as derived from a rainy day; as thus--Rainy day, rain a little, rain much, rain hard, reynard, fox! SIGNS AND TOKENS. If you see a man and woman, with little or no occasion, often finding fault and correcting each other in company, you may be sure they are husband and wife. If you see a lady and gentleman in the same coach in profound silence, the one looking out at the window and the other at the opposite side, be assured they mean no harm to each other, but are husband and wife. If you see a lady accidentally let fall a glove or a handkerchief, and a gentleman that is next to her tell her of it, that she may pick it up, set them down for husband and wife. If you see a man and woman walk in the fields at twenty yards distance in a direct line, and a man striding over a style and still going on _sans cérémonie_, you may swear they are husband and wife. If you see a lady whose beauty attracts the notice of every person present except one man, and he speaks to her in a rough manner, and does not appear at all affected by her charms, depend upon it they are husband and wife. THE MIRACLE. An old mass priest in the reign of Henry VIII., after the Bible was translated, was reading the miracle of the five loaves and two fishes. When he came to the verse that reckons the number of the guests, he paused a little, and at last said they were about five hundred; the clerk whispered in his ear that it was five thousand. “Hold your tongue, sirrah,” said the priest, “we shall never persuade the people it was five thousand.” SWEARING AND DRIVING.