English Jests and Anecdotes, Collected from Various SourcesVarious
General
English Jests and Anecdotes, Collected from Various Sources
Various
Anecdotes -- England; English wit and humor
It is strange to observe how blind the common people are, in general,
to the ends of public justice. They seem to have almost all taken their
notions on this subject from the Judaic law, which awarded life for
life, and one article to be substituted for another; and punishment is
by them rather looked upon as a revenge to gratify the offended person,
or his manes, than as preventative of future crimes. In Scotland, for
instance, if a man is to be hanged for stealing the sheep, or breaking
the shop, of another, the aggrieved individual is sometimes found to
express what he will perhaps consider a graceful regret for the fate of
the culprit, as if it were only to avenge his petty quarrel, and not to
vindicate the cause of offended justice, that the law was to take its
course. This was well reproved, on one occasion, by Justice Burnet. A
fellow, whom that judge was about to condemn for horse-stealing, said
it surely was a hard thing to be hanged for stealing a horse. “You are
not to be hanged, friend,” replied the Justice, “for stealing a horse,
but that horses may not be stolen.”
LORD BOLINGBROKE.
The famous Lord Bolingbroke, being at Aix-la-chapelle, during the
treaty of peace at that place (at which time his attainder was taken
off), was asked by an impertinent Frenchman, whether he came there in
any public character. “No, sir,” replied his Lordship, “I come like a
French minister, with no character at all.”
WHAT’S IN A NAME.
In a party of ladies, on it being reported that a Captain Silk had
arrived in town, they exclaimed, with one exception, “What a name for
a soldier!” “The fittest name in the world,” rejoined a witty female;
“for _silk_ never can be _worsted_!”
GREAT ENCOURAGEMENT.
A gentleman about to join his regiment, stationed in the West Indies,
was making some anxious inquiries of a brother officer, who had
returned, after serving several years in that climate, concerning the
best means of preserving health; to which the other replied, “During
our passage out, many serious discussions took place about the mode
of living best calculated to preserve health in a climate, with the
fatal effects of which on European constitutions every one is so well
acquainted. Some determined to be temperate, and drink nothing but
water; others, not to deviate from their usual manner of living. Not to
interrupt each other’s plans, we agreed to separate into two distinct
messes, which, from their different modes of living, very soon obtained
the distinctive appellations of the sober and the drunken club.”
“Well,” said the other gentleman, with some anxiety, “and what was the
result?” “Why, truly, not very satisfactory: we buried all the members
of the sober club in the course of a few months, and I am the only
survivor of the drunken.”
SIR GEORGE ROOKE.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
Reviews
Reviews
No reviews yet
Be the first to share your thoughts on this work.
Elsewhere in the archive
Join the Discussion
Join the discussion
Sign in to leave a comment or review.
Sign InorCreate an account