The famous Sir George Rooke, when he was a captain of marines, was quartered at a village where he buried a good many of his men. At length, the parson refused to perform the ceremony of their interment any more, unless he was paid for it; which being told to Captain Rooke, he ordered six of his company to carry the corpse of the soldier then dead, and lay him upon the parson’s table. This so embarrassed the priest, that he sent the captain word, “If he would fetch the man away, he would bury him and all his company for nothing.” NEW READING IN HORACE. Sir Robert Walpole, at the close of his administration, was sitting one evening with some intimate friends, to whom he was complaining of the vanities and vexations of office, adding, from the second epistle of the second book of Horace, “Lusisti satis, edisti, atque bibisti; Tempus abire tibi est.” “Pray, Sir Robert,” says one of his friends, “is that good Latin?” “Why, I think so--what objections have you to it?” “Why,” says the other drily, “I did not know but that the word might be _bribe_-isti in YOUR HORACE.” PUNNING COMPETITION. George IV., when Prince of Wales, and Charles Fox, one day enjoying a ride in the neighbourhood of Brighton, laid bets which of them should make the _worst_ pun on the first subjects they met. Immediately after, meeting a man carrying a dead _hare_ over his shoulder, Fox (who was to make the first essay of his wit) accosted him thus: “Friend, is that your own _hare_, or a _wig_?” Riding a little farther on, they came up with two men, one of whom held a snuff-box in his hand. “So, friend,” said the Prince, “I see you are a snuffer.” “Yes, sir,” replied the man. “And are _you_ a snuffer also?” says he to the other man. “I am, please your honour.” “Well, then, you are a _pair of snuffers_.” Fox gained the bet. NAVAL PUN. A gentleman inquiring of a naval officer why sailors generally take off their shirts on going into action, was answered, that “they were unwilling to have any _check_ to fighting.” FALSE REPORT. A gentleman meeting an old friend, whom he had not seen for a long time, congratulated him on lately coming to the possession of a large landed estate. “There was such a report,” replied the other; “but, if you will believe me, it was quite _groundless_.” DIVERTING VAGABOND. Mossop, the player, always spoke in heroics. A cobbler in Dublin, who once brought home his boots, refused to leave them without the money. Mossop came in whilst he was disputing, and, looking sternly, exclaimed, “Tell me, are you the noted cobbler I have often heard of?” “Yes,” says the fellow, “and I think you the diverting vagabond I have often seen.” PLURALITIES.