An Irish conjuror and ventriloquist, of the name of Ray, but who called himself “Le Sieur Ray,” to blarney his countrymen (though he spoke a brogue thick enough to have cut with a knife, as Bowles used to say), exhibiting before their majesties, refused to perform his grand deception till the queen said _cockalorum_, in which he pretended the charm consisted. Her majesty thought the word either difficult or indelicate, and declined; but the king was so bent upon the great astonishment, that he turned round to her good-naturedly and said,--“Say cockalorum, Charlotte--say cockalorum.” FELLOW FEELING. Dr. A----, physician at Newcastle, being summoned to a vestry, in order to reprimand the sexton for drunkenness, he dwelt so long on the fellow’s misconduct, as to raise his choler, and draw from him this expression:--“Sir, I was in hopes you would have treated my failings with more gentleness, or that you would have been the last man alive to appear against me, as _I have covered so many blunders of yours_.” STRIKING ANALOGY. Bate Dudley had been telling a story to the Anacreontic Club, which he purported to be entirely new, and which caused a great deal of laughter. Hewardine then observed, that the anecdote related by Mr. Dudley put him in mind of another nearly as facetious. He then repeated some venerable affair, which, whatever was its point, bore no more resemblance to Dudley’s, than a white egg to a black hen. When it was concluded, Dudley turned to Hewardine with a stare of surprise, and observed, “That was a very humorous circumstance; but I can’t see how my anecdote could remind you of it!” “No!” said Tom. “Why, I’ll tell you,--your story is at the top of the leaf, page 17, Miller’s old edition, and mine follows at the bottom!” EVERY THING SHOULD STAND ON ITS OWN BOTTOM. A sailor passing by a cooper’s shop, and seeing a number of tubs piled above each other at the door, began to kick and tumble them about the street. The master coming out, and desiring to know the reason of this strange proceeding, “D--n it,” replied Jack, “why should not every tub stand upon its own bottom?” A FAMILY PIECE. Mr. Fox having applied to a shopkeeper in Westminster for his vote and interest, the man produced a halter, with which he said he was ready to oblige him. The orator immediately replied, “I return you thanks, my friend, for your very polite offer; but I should be sorry to deprive you of so valuable a family piece.” RETRACTATION. Two gentlemen standing together, as a young lady passed them, one of them said, “There goes the handsomest woman I ever saw.” She hearing, turned round, and observing him to be very ugly, answered, “I wish, sir, I could, in return, say as much of you.” “So you may, madam,” said he, “and lie as I did.” THE GOOD OLD “LAPSUS LINGUÆ.”