Soon after Lord Sidney’s elevation to the peerage, he happened to observe in company, that authors were often very ridiculous in the titles they gave. “That,” said a gentleman present, “is an error from which even kings appear not to be exempt.” A LONG-EARED ANIMAL _versus_ A SHORT. A cockney having had his horse cropt, was asked the reason; he answered, “Why, my friend, this here horse had a knack at being frightened, and on the least occasion would prick up his ears, and look for all the world as if he had seen the devil; and therefore, to prevent the like in future, I cropt him.” ECCENTRIC RECOMMENDATION. Swift once gave a gentleman of very good character and fortune a letter of recommendation to Pope, couched in the following terms:--“Dear Pope, Though the little fellow that brings this be a justice of peace and a member of our Irish House of Commons, yet he may not be altogether unworthy of your acquaintance.” HOLIDAY. A gentleman seeing the town-crier of Bristol one market-day standing unemployed, asked him the reason. “O,” replied he, “I can’t _cry_ to-day, my wife is dead.” ECONOMY. An economical peeress spoke to her butler to be saving of an excellent run of small-beer, and asked him how it might be best preserved. “The best method I know,” replied the butler, “is to place a barrel of good ale by it.” THE BLOOD OF CROMWELL. A grand-daughter of Oliver Cromwell, who was remarkable for her vivacity and humour, being in company at Tunbridge Wells, a gentleman, who had taken great offence at some sarcastic remarks she had made, rudely said, to insult her, “I think, madam, you would hardly give yourself so many airs, had you recollected that your grandfather was hanged.” To which she instantly replied, “Yes, sir; but please to recollect, he was not hanged till after he was dead.” CHARLES II. AND ROCHESTER. King Charles II. being at bowls, and having laid a bowl very near the jack, cried out, “My soul to a horse hair, nobody beats that.” “Lay odds,” says Rochester, “and I’ll take you.” DUNNING EXTRAORDINARY. A tradesman pressing a gentleman very much for payment of his bill, the latter said, “You need not be in so great a hurry, I am not going to run away.” “I do not imagine you are, sir,” returned the tradesman, “but I am.” JAMES II. AND WALLER. King James II. having a wish to converse with Waller, the poet, sent for him one afternoon, and took him into his closet, where was a very fine picture of the Princess of Orange. The King asked him his opinion of the picture, on which Waller said, he thought it extremely like the greatest woman that ever lived in the world. “Whom do you call so?” said the king. “Queen Elizabeth,” replied the other. “I wonder, Mr. Waller,” said the king, “that you should think so; for she owed all her greatness to her council, and that indeed, it must be admitted, was a wise one.” “And pray, sir,” said Waller, “did your majesty ever know a fool choose a wise council?” DR. JOHNSON.