An _independent_ elector of one of the midland counties, when called upon by a young slip of aristocracy, who was canvassing the freeholders, replied, that if the right honourable candidate would engage to bestow on his (the elector’s) second son a situation in his lordship’s gift, in the event of its becoming vacant, the suffrage should certainly be given as solicited. “My dear sir,” was the reply, “I shall be too proud to serve your son.” The scion of the noble house of ---- was returned, and the vacancy anticipated by the elector shortly occurred; but his lordship wisely disposed of it to one from whom he had still something to expect. The disappointed voter was exclaiming loudly to one of his acquaintances against this breach of faith on the part of his lordship. “I do not perceive,” answered his friend, “that he has been guilty of any. He told you that he should be too proud to serve your son, and the event has shown that he spoke the truth.” ONE EXCEPTION. A disappointed author, indulging in a vein of abuse against a successful rival, exclaimed, “He is, without exception, the most superficial, self-sufficient, ignorant shallow creature that ever made any pretensions to literature.” “Gently, my dear sir,” interrupted a gentleman; “_you quite forget yourself_.” GO TO BRIGHTON. A _poor_ valetudinarian was recommended to take a change of air for the benefit of his health. “Go to Brighton,” said the medical man; “the air of Brighton is very _good_ for _pectoral_ complaints.” “But very _bad_ for _pocket_ complaints, is it not doctor?” replied the invalid. GIVING THE DEVIL HIS DUE. Swift, in preaching an assize sermon, was severe upon the lawyers for pleading against their consciences. After dinner, a young counsel said some severe things upon the clergy, and added, that he did not doubt, were the devil to die, a parson might be found to preach his funeral sermon. “Yes,” says Swift, “I would, and would give the devil his due, as I did his children this morning.” OUT OF PLACE. When the beau-monde held their coteries, and pitched tents upon the leads of the houses, it was referred to a person, who, not approving of it, said that it was making too great an encroachment upon the cats. CURTAILED. A strapping fellow told a diminutive man that he was “curtailed of man’s fair proportion.” “If you will just step out on the green,” said the little one, “you shall find that I am not _cur-hearted_, although I am _cur-tailed_.” A GOOD MOVE. Sheridan being on a Parliamentary committee, one day entered the room as all the members were seated, and ready to commence business: perceiving no empty seat, he bowed, and, looking round the table with a droll expression of countenance, said, “Will any gentleman _move_ that I may _take the chair_.” LORD ERSKINE.