A gentleman who used to frequent the Chapter Coffeehouse, being unwell, thought he might steal an opinion concerning his case; accordingly, one day he took an opportunity of asking Dr. Buchan, who sat in the same box with him, what he should take for such a complaint? “I’ll tell you,” says the doctor--“you should take _advice_.” PROOF OF A CIVILIZED COUNTRY. The writer of a modern book of travels, relating the particulars of his being cast away, thus concludes--“After having walked eleven hours without tracing the print of a human foot, to my great comfort and delight I saw a man hanging upon a gibbet; my pleasure at this cheering prospect was inexpressible, for it convinced me that I was in a _civilized country_, there being no _such_ thing among savages.” DIFFERENCE BETWEEN LITERAL AND LITERARY. During the institution of a society in Liverpool for the purpose of literary improvement, a gentleman of strong body but of slender wit applied to be admitted a member; “I think,” said he to the president, “I must certainly be a vast acquisition to a society of this kind, as I am undoubtedly a _great_ man in the _literal_ sense of the word!” “True,” replied the other; “but I am afraid you are but a _little_ man in the _literary_ sense of the word.” PURE ENGLISH. The English ambassador demanded of Louis XIV. the liberation of the Protestants who had been condemned to the galleys on account of their religion. “What would the King of Great Britain say if I asked him to liberate the prisoners in Newgate?” “Sire,” replied the ambassador, “the king, my master, would grant your majesty’s request if you reclaimed them as your brethren.” PROOF OF SANITY. Sir Theodore Mayerne, physician to King James I., and who made an immense sum by his practice, was once consulted by a friend, who laid two broad pieces of gold on the table (six and thirties), and Sir Theodore put them into his pocket. The friend was hurt at his pocketing such a fee; but Sir Theodore said to him, “I made my will this morning, and if it should appear that I refused a fee, I might be deemed _non compos_.” BUT! In a case of assault, where an eminent brewer was concerned, the following ingenious argument was stated in the pleadings to have been used by that individual: “If there be any charge made against the beer, _rebutt_ it.” It was this clench in jest, which led to the assault in earnest; so that neither your _if_ nor your _but_ is a certain peacemaker. COMPETITION OF WONDERS.