Of old, when Scarron his companions invited, Each guest brought his dish, and the feast was united; If our landlord supplies us with beef and with fish, Let each guest bring himself, and he brings a good dish: Our Dean shall be venison, just fresh from the plains; Our Burke shall be tongue, with a garnish of brains; Our Will shall be wild fowl, of excellent flavour; And Dick with his pepper shall heighten their savour; Our Cumberland's sweet-bread its place shall obtain, And Douglas is pudding, substantial and plain: Our Garrick a salad, for in him we see Oil, vinegar, sugar, and saltness agree: To make out the dinner, full certain I am That Ridge is anchovy, and Reynolds is lamb; That Hickey's a capon; and, by the same rule, Magnanimous Goldsmith a gooseberry-fool. At a dinner so various, at such a repast, Who'd not be a glutton, and stick to the last? Here, waiter, more wine, let me sit while I'm able, Till all my companions sink under the table; Then, with chaos and blunders encircling my head, Let me ponder, and tell what I think of the dead. Here lies the good Dean, reunited to earth, Who mix'd reason with pleasure, and wisdom with mirth; If he had any faults, he has left us in doubt, At least in six weeks I could not find them out; Yet some have declared, and it can't be denied them, That Slyboots was cursedly cunning to hide them. Here lies our good Edmund, whose genius was such, We scarcely can praise it, or blame it too much; Who, born for the universe, narrow'd his mind, And to party gave up what was meant for mankind: Though fraught with all learning, yet straining his throat To persuade Tommy Townshend to lend him a vote: Who, too deep for his hearers, still went on refining, And thought of convincing, while they thought of dining; Tho' equal to all things, for all things unfit, Too nice for a statesman, too proud for a wit; For a patriot too cool; for a drudge disobedient; And too fond of the right to pursue the expedient. In short, 'twas his fate, unemploy'd or in place, sir, To eat mutton cold, and cut blocks with a razor. Here lies honest William, whose heart was a mint, While the owner ne'er knew half the good that was in't; The pupil of impulse, it forced him along, His conduct still right, with his argument wrong; Still aiming at honour, yet fearing to roam, The coachman was tipsy, the chariot drove home: Would you ask for his merits? alas, he had none! What was good was spontaneous, his faults were his own. Here lies honest Richard, whose fate I must sigh at, Alas, that such frolic should now be so quiet! What spirits were his, what wit and what whim, Now breaking a jest, and now breaking a limb! Now wrangling and grumbling to keep up the ball, Now teasing and vexing, yet laughing at all! In short, so provoking a devil was Dick, That we wish'd him full ten times a day at Old Nick,