I need not tell you of the great quarrels that have happened in our
neighbourhood since the death of the late Lord Strutt[171]; how the
parson[172] and a cunning attorney got him to settle his estate upon
his cousin Philip Baboon, to the great disappointment of his cousin
Esquire South. Some stick not to say that the parson and the attorney
forged a will; for which they were well paid by the family of the
Baboons. Let that be as it will, it is matter of fact that the honour
and estate have continued ever since in the person of Philip Baboon.
You know that the Lord Strutts have for many years been possessed of a
very great landed estate, well-conditioned, wooded, watered, with coal,
salt, tin, copper, iron, &c., all within themselves; that it has been
the misfortune of that family to be the property of their stewards,
tradesmen, and inferior servants, which has brought great incumbrances
upon them; at the same time, their not abating of their expensive way
of living has forced them to mortgage their best manors. It is credibly
reported that the butcher's and baker's bill of a Lord Strutt that
lived two hundred years ago are not yet paid.
When Philip Baboon came first to the possession of the Lord Strutt's
estate, his tradesmen,[173] as is usual upon such occasion, waited upon
him to wish him joy and bespeak his custom. The two chief were John
Bull,[174] the clothier, and Nic. Frog,[175] the linen-draper. They
told him that the Bulls and Frogs had served the Lord Strutts with
drapery-ware for many years; that they were honest and fair dealers;
that their bills had never been questioned, that the Lord Strutts lived
generously, and never used to dirty their fingers with pen, ink, and
counters; that his lordship might depend upon their honesty that they
would use him as kindly as they had done his predecessors. The young
lord seemed to take all in good part, and dismissed them with a deal of
seeming content, assuring them he did not intend to change any of the
honourable maxims of his predecessors.
How Bull and Frog grew jealous that the Lord Strutt intended to
give all his custom to his grandfather, Lewis Baboon.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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