That I went to warm myself in Lady Betty's chamber, because I was cold, And I had in a purse seven pounds, four shillings, and sixpence, besides farthings, in money and gold: So, because I had been buying things for my lady last night, I was resolved to tell my money, and see if it was right. Now you must know, because my trunk has a very bad lock, Therefore all the money I have, which God knows, is a very small stock, I keep in my pocket, tied about my middle, next my smock. So, when I went to put up my purse, as luck would have it, my smock was unript, And instead of putting it into my pocket, down it slipt: Then the bell rung, and I went down to put my lady to bed; And, God knows, I thought my money was as safe as my stupid head! So, when I came up again, I found my pocket feel very light: But when I search'd and miss'd my purse, law! I thought I should have sunk outright. "Lawk, madam," says Mary, "how d'ye do?" "Indeed," says I, "never worse: But pray, Mary, can you tell what I've done with my purse?" "Lawk, help me!" said Mary; "I never stirred out of this place:" "Nay," said I, "I had it in Lady Betty's chamber, that's a plain case." So Mary got me to bed, and cover'd me up warm: However, she stole away my garters, that I might do myself no harm. So I tumbled and toss'd all night, as you may very well think, But hardly ever set my eyes together, or slept a wink. So I was a-dream'd, methought, that I went and search'd the folks round, And in a corner of Mrs. Dukes's box, tied in a rag the money was found. So next morning we told Whittle, and he fell a-swearing: Then my dame Wadger came: and she, you know, is thick of hearing: "Dame," said I, as loud as I could bawl, "do you know what a loss I have had?" "Nay," said she, "my Lord Colway's folks are all very sad; For my Lord Dromedary comes a Tuesday without fail." "Pugh!" said I, "but that's not the business that I ail." Says Cary, says he, "I've been a servant this five-and-twenty years come spring, And in all the places I lived I never heard of such a thing." "Yes," says the Steward, "I remember, when I was at my Lady Shrewsbury's, Such a thing as this happen'd, just about the time of gooseberries." So I went to the party suspected, and I found her full of grief, (Now, you must know, of all things in the world I hate a thief,) However, I was resolved to bring the discourse slily about: "Mrs. Dukes," said I, "here's an ugly accident has happen'd out: 'Tis not that I value the money three skips of a mouse; But the thing I stand upon is the credit of the house. 'Tis true, seven pounds, four shillings, and sixpence, makes a great hole in my wages: Besides, as they say, service is no inheritance in these ages. Now, Mrs. Dukes, you know, and everybody understands, That tho' 'tis hard to judge, yet money can't go without hands."