There is in this famous island of Britain a certain paltry scribbler,
very voluminous, whose character the reader cannot wholly be a stranger
to. He deals in a pernicious kind of writings called "Second Parts",
and usually passes under the name of "The Author of the First". I
easily foresee that as soon as I lay down my pen this nimble operator
will have stole it, and treat me as inhumanly as he has already done
Dr. Blackmore, Lestrange, and many others who shall here be nameless. I
therefore fly for justice and relief into the hands of that great
rectifier of saddles and lover of mankind, Dr. Bentley, begging he will
take this enormous grievance into his most modern consideration; and if
it should so happen that the furniture of an ass in the shape of a
second part must for my sins be clapped, by mistake, upon my back, that
he will immediately please, in the presence of the world, to lighten me
of the burden, and take it home to his own house till the true beast
thinks fit to call for it.
In the meantime, I do here give this public notice that my resolutions
are to circumscribe within this discourse the whole stock of matter I
have been so many years providing. Since my vein is once opened, I am
content to exhaust it all at a running, for the peculiar advantage of
my dear country, and for the universal benefit of mankind. Therefore,
hospitably considering the number of my guests, they shall have my
whole entertainment at a meal, and I scorn to set up the leavings in
the cupboard. What the guests cannot eat may be given to the poor, and
the dogs under the table may gnaw the bones.[180] This I understand for
a more generous proceeding than to turn the company's stomachs by
inviting them again to-morrow to a scurvy meal of scraps.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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