The calender, amazed to see His neighbour in such trim, Laid down his pipe, flew to the gate, And thus accosted him: 'What news? what news? your tidings tell-- Tell me you must and shall Say why bareheaded you are come, Or why you come at all?' Now Gilpin had a pleasant wit, And loved a timely joke; And thus unto the calendar In merry guise he spoke: 'I came because your horse would come; And, if I well forebode, My hat and wig will soon be here-- They are upon the road.' The calender, right glad to find His friend in merry pin, Returned him not a single word, But to the house went in; Whence straight he came with hat and wig; A wig that flowed behind, A hat not much the worse for wear, Each comely in its kind. He held them up, and in his turn Thus showed his ready wit: `My head is twice as big as yours, They therefore needs must fit. But let me scrape the dirt away That hangs upon your face: And stop and eat, for well you may Be in a hungry case.' Said John: 'It is my wedding-day, And all the world would stare If wife should dine at Edmonton, And I should dine at Ware.' So turning to his horse, he said: 'I am in haste to dine; 'Twas for your pleasure you came here, You shall go back for mine.' Ah, luckless speech, and bootless boast! For which he paid full dear; For, while he spake, a braying ass Did sing most loud and clear; Whereat his horse did snort, as he Had heard a lion roar, And galloped off with all his might, As he had done before. Away went Gilpin, and away Went Gilpin's hat and wig; He lost them sooner than at first; For why?--they were too big. Now Mrs. Gilpin, when she saw Her husband posting down Into the country far away, She pulled out half-a-crown; And thus unto the youth she said That drove them to the Bell: 'This shall be yours when you bring back My husband safe and well.' The youth did ride, and soon did meet John coming back amain; Whom in a trice he tried to stop, By catching at his rein; But not performing what he meant, And gladly would have done, The frighted steed he frighted more, And made him faster run. Away went Gilpin, and away Went post-boy at his heels, The post-boy's horse right glad to miss The lumbering of the wheels. Six gentlemen upon the road Thus seeing Gilpin fly, With post-boy scampering in the rear, They raised the hue and cry: Stop thief! stop thief!--a highwayman Not one of them was mute; And all and each that passed that way Did join in the pursuit. And now the turnpike gates again Flew open in short space; The tollmen thinking as before That Gilpin rode a race. And so he did, and won it too, For he got first to town; Nor stopped till where he had got up He did again get down. Now let us sing, long live the king, And Gilpin, long live he; And, when he next doth ride abroad, May I be there to see! THE' ROYAL GEORGE' TOLL for the Brave! The brave that are no more! All sunk beneath the wave Fast by their native shore!