Erema; Or, My Father's SinBlackmore, R. D. (Richard Doddridge)
History
Erema; Or, My Father's Sin
Blackmore, R. D. (Richard Doddridge)
California -- History -- 19th century -- Fiction; Fathers and daughters -- Fiction; Young women -- Fiction
“The history of my mother and myself does not concern you. Such people
are of no account until they grow dangerous to the great. We lived in
cheap places and wandered about, caring for no one, and cared for by
the same. Mrs. Hoyle and Thomas Hoyle we called ourselves when we wanted
names; and I did not even know the story of our wrongs till the heat
and fury of youth were past. Both for her own sake and mine my mother
concealed it from me. Pride and habit, perhaps, had dulled her just
desire for vengeance; and, knowing what I was, she feared--the thing
which has befallen me. But when I was close upon thirty years old, and
my mother eight-and-forty--for she was betrayed in her teens--a sudden
illness seized her. Believing her death to be near, she told me, as
calmly as possible, every thing, with all those large, quiet views of
the past, which at such a time seem the regular thing, but make the
wrong tenfold blacker. She did not die; if she had, it might have been
better both for her and me, and many other people. Are you tired of my
tale? Or do you want to hear the rest?”
“You can not be asking me in earnest,” I replied, while I watched his
wild eyes carefully. “Tell me the rest, if you are not afraid.”
“Afraid, indeed! Then, for want of that proper tendance and comfort
which a few pounds would have brought her, although she survived, she
survived as a wreck, the mere relic and ruin of her poor unhappy self.
I sank my pride for her sake, and even deigned to write to him, in rank
and wealth so far above me, in every thing else such a clot below my
heel. He did the most arrogant thing a snob can do--he never answered my
letter.
“I scraped together a little money, and made my way to England, and
came to that house--which you now call yours--and bearded that noble
nobleman--that father to be so proud of! He was getting on now in years,
and growing, perhaps, a little nervous, and my first appearance scared
him. He got no obeisance from me, you may be certain, but still I did
not revile him. I told him of my mother's state of mind, and the great
care she required, and demanded that, in common justice, he, having
brought her to this, should help her. But nothing would he promise, not
a sixpence even, in the way of regular allowance. Any thing of that sort
could only be arranged by means of his solicitors. He had so expensive a
son, with a very large and growing family, that he could not be pledged
to any yearly sum. But if I would take a draft for 100 pounds, and sign
an acquittance in full of all claims, I might have it, upon proving my
identity.
“What identity had I to prove? He had taken good care of that. I turned
my back on him and left the house, without even asking for his curse,
though as precious as a good man's blessing.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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