"Well, I've met a lot of writing men since I came East," he said. "And
Dorn's the best of them. He's more than a man of promise. He's opened
up. Look what he's done in the new number. Absolutely revolutionized the
liberal thought of the country. You've got to admit that. He's a man
incapable of fanaticism."
"That's just it," smiled Lockwood. "You've hit it. You've put your
finger on it. He's the kind of man who knows too damn much and don't
believe anything."
The friendship between Lockwood and Dorn matured quickly. The two men,
profoundly dissimilar in their natures, found themselves launched upon a
growing intimacy. To Lockwood, heavy spoken, delicate sensed, naïve
despite the shrewdness of his forty-five years, Erik Dorn appealed as
some exotic mechanical contrivance might for a day fascinate and
bewilder the intelligence of a rustic. And the other, in the midst of
magnificent bombinations that amazed his friend, thought, "If I only
had this man's simplicity. If on top of my ability to unravel mysteries
into words I could feel these mysteries as he does, I might do
something."
At other times, carried away by the strength of his own nature, he would
find himself looking down upon Lockwood. "I'm alive. He's static. I live
above him. There's nothing beyond me. I can't feel the things out of
which he makes his novels, because I'm beyond them."
He would think then of Lockwood as an eagle of a rustic painstakingly
hoeing a field. On such days the disquiet would vanish from Dorn's
thought. He would feel himself propelled through the hours as if by some
irresistible wind of which he had become a part. To live was enough. To
live was to give expression to the clamoring forces in him. To sweep
over Edwards, hurl himself through crowds, pulverize Warren, bang out
astounding fictions on the typewriter, watch the faces of acquaintances
light up with admiration as he spoke--this sufficed. The world
galvanized itself about him. He could do anything. He could give vision
to people, create new life around him. This consciousness sufficed. Then
to rush home from a triumphant day, a glorious contempt for his fellows
lingering like wine in his head--and find Rachel--an eagle waiting in a
nest.
Joy, then, become a mania. Desires feeding upon themselves, devouring
his body and his senses and hurling him into an exhausted sleep as if
death alone could climax the madness of his spirit--these Dorn knew in
the days of his strength.
But the days of disquiet came, confronting him like skeletons in the
midst of his feastings upon life. The ecstasy he felt seemed suddenly to
turn itself inward and demand of him new destinations. On such days he
had fallen into the habit of going upon swift walks through the less
crowded streets of the city. During his walking he would mutter, "What
can I do? What? Nothing. Not a thing." As if secret voices were debating
his destiny.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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