She winced at this. An unbearable stupidity. But Hazlitt stood looking
at her for an instant quite serious, as if he had said something noble.
He saluted her, his hand to his cap, his heels together, and went away.
The memory lingered. Hazlitt had always been incomprehensible. His
stupidity was easy enough to understand. But something under it was a
mess. Now he was a fool. Stiff and idiotic and making her feel ashamed
as if she were sorry for him.... Tesla came back and stood on a step
dropping blood from his fingers. Brander came back and whispered with
his ugly face. Hazlitt, Tesla, Brander--three men that jumped out at her
from the superfluous streets. Like the three men in the park walking
horribly across the white park in the night.... An idiot, a bleeding
man, and an ugly face. But they had passed her and gone. They were
things seen outside a window.
Her eyes looking at a clock said to her, "Two hours more. Oh, in two
hours, in two hours!"
She sat motionless until the clock said, "One hour more, one more hour!"
Then she stood up and walked slowly out of the hotel. Things had changed
since she had left the streets. The strange world full of Marys,
Hazlitts, and Teslas had added further superfluities. A band of music.
Soldiers marching. Buildings waving flags and crying, "Boom, boom! we
have gone to war!..."
She came to her home. A red-brick house like other red-brick houses. But
her home. What a fool she had been to leave it. It would have been
easier waiting here. She walked into the two familiar rooms filled with
the memory of Erik--two rooms that embraced her. Her hat fell on the
bed. She would have to eat. Downstairs in the dining-room. Other
boarders to look at. But Erik would have eaten when he came. He
preferred eating alone.
Rachel took her place at one of the smaller tables and dabbled through a
series of uninteresting dishes. An admiring waitress rebuked her ...
"Dearie, you ain't eating hardly anything."
She smiled at the waitress and watched her later bringing dishes to a
purple-faced fat man at an adjoining table. The fat man was futilely
endeavoring to tell secrets to the waitress by contorting his features
and screwing up his eyes. He reminded Rachel of Brander, only Brander
told secrets without trying. She finished and hurried out. She would be
hungry later, but it didn't matter. Erik would be there then.
In the hallway Mrs. McGuire called, "Oh, Mrs. Dorn!"
Being called Mrs. Dorn always frightened her and made her dizzy. She
paused. Some day Mrs. McGuire would look at her shrewdly and say,
"You're not Mrs. Dorn. I called you Mrs. Dorn but I know better. Don't
think you're fooling anybody. Mrs. Dorn, indeed!"
But Mrs. McGuire held out her hand.
"A letter for your husband. Do you want to sit in the parlor, Mrs. Dorn?
You know I want all my boarders to make themselves entirely at home."
"Thank you," said Rachel. "You're so nice. But I have some work to do
upstairs."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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