Ernest Linwood; or, The Inner Life of the AuthorHentz, Caroline Lee
General
Ernest Linwood; or, The Inner Life of the Author
Hentz, Caroline Lee
Fiction
"Then she told me how she came from New England to live with a brother,
who had since died of consumption, and how she was going back, because
she did not like to live in a great city, when the doctor got her to
come to nurse me in sickness, and how she had learned to love me so well
she could not bear the thoughts of going away from me. She told me, too,
how quiet and happy people could live in that part of the country; how
they could get along upon almost nothing at all, and be just as private
as they pleased, and nobody would pester them or make them afraid.
"She knew exactly how she came to the city, and we could go the same
way, only we would wind about a little and not go to the place where she
used to live, so that folks need ask no questions or know any thing
about us.
"With a childlike dependence, as implicit as your own, and as
instinctive, I threw myself on Peggy's strong heart and great common
sense. With equal judgment and energy, she arranged every thing for our
departure. She had the resolution and fortitude of a man, with the
tenderness and fidelity of a woman. I submitted myself entirely to her
guidance, saying, 'It was well.' But when I was alone, I clasped you in
agony to my bosom, and prostrating myself before the footstool of
Jehovah, I prayed for a bolt to strike us, mother and child together,
that we might be spared the bitter cup of humiliation and woe. One
moment I dared to think of mingling our life blood together in the grave
of the suicide; the next, with streaming eyes, I implored forgiveness
for the impious thought.
"It is needless to dwell minutely on the circumstances of our departure.
We left that beautiful mansion, once the abode of love and happiness,
now a dungeon house of despair;--we came to this lone, obscure spot,
where I resumed my father's name, and gave it to you. At first,
curiosity sought out the melancholy stranger, but Peggy's
incommunicativeness and sound judgment baffled its scrutiny. In a little
while, we were suffered to remain in the seclusion we desired. Here you
have passed from infancy to childhood, from childhood to adolescence,
unconscious that a cloud deeper than poverty and obscurity rests upon
your youth. I could not bear that my innocent child should blush for a
father's villany. I could not bear that her holy confidence in human
goodness and truth should be shattered and destroyed. But the day of
revelation must come. From the grave, whither I am hastening, my voice
shall speak; for the time may come, when a knowledge of your parentage
will be indispensable, and concealment be considered a crime.
"Should you hereafter win the love of an honorable and noble heart, (for
such are sometimes found,) every honorable and noble feeling will prompt
you to candor and truth, with regard to your personal relations. I need
not tell you this.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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