Ernest Linwood; or, The Inner Life of the AuthorHentz, Caroline Lee
General
Ernest Linwood; or, The Inner Life of the Author
Hentz, Caroline Lee
Fiction
She glanced towards Edith, whose beautiful face was paler and thinner
than it was wont to be. She had pined for the brother of whom I had
robbed her; for the world offered her nothing to fill the void left in
the depths of her loving heart. We were all happier together. We cannot
give ourselves up to the dominion of an exclusive passion, whatever it
may be, without an outrage to nature, which sooner or later revenges the
wrong inflicted. With all my romantic love for Ernest, I had often
sighed for the companionship of one of my own sex; and now, restored to
Edith, whom I had always regarded a little lower than the angels, I felt
that if love was more rapturous than friendship, it was not more divine.
They knew that I had suffered. They had sympathized with me, pitied
me,--(if Mrs. Linwood blamed me for imprudence, she never expressed it);
and I felt that they loved me better for having passed under the cloud.
There was no allusion made to the awful events which were present in the
minds of all, on our first reunion. If Mrs. Linwood noticed, that after
the glow of excitement faded from my cheek it was paler than it was wont
to be, she did not tell me so, but her kiss was more tender, her glance
more kind. There was something in her mild, expressive eyes, that I
translated thus:--
"Thank God that another hand than Ernest's has stolen the rose from thy
cheek of youth. Better, far better to be humbled by a father's crimes,
than blighted by a husband's jealousy."
This evening reminded me so much of the first I ever passed with Ernest.
He asked Edith for the music of her harp; and I sat in the recess of the
window, in the shadow of the curtains, through whose transparent drapery
the moonbeams stole in and kissed my brow. Ernest came and sat down
beside me, and my hand was clasped in his. As the sweet strains floated
round us, they seemed to mingle with the moonlight, and my spirit was
borne up on waves of brightness and melody. Always before, when
listening to Edith's angelic voice, I had wished for the same enchanting
power. I had felt that thus I could sing, I could play, had art
developed the gifts of nature, only with deeper passion and sensibility;
but now I listened without conscious desire,--passive, happy, willing to
receive, without desiring to impart. I felt like the pilgrim who, after
a sultry day of weariness, pauses by a cool spring, and, laying himself
down beneath its gushing, suffers the stream to flow over him,--till,
penetrated by their freshness, his soul seems a fountain of living
waters. Oh! the divine rapture of repose, after restlessness and
conflict! I had passed the breakers. Henceforth my life would be calm
and placid as the beams that illumined the night.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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