Ernest Linwood; or, The Inner Life of the AuthorHentz, Caroline Lee
General
Ernest Linwood; or, The Inner Life of the Author
Hentz, Caroline Lee
Fiction
"Remain with my mother, Gabriella," said he; "I give you back to her
guardianship, till I have done penance for the sins of this night. The
lips that have dared to speak to a mother, and such a mother, the words
of bitterness and passion, are unworthy to receive the pledge of love.
My eyes are opened to the enormity of my offence, and I abhor myself in
dust and ashes; my spirit shall clothe itself in garments of sackcloth
and mourning, and drink of the bitter cup of humiliation. Hear, then, my
solemn vow;--nay, my mother, nay, Gabriella,--I must, I will speak. My
Saviour fasted forty days and forty nights in the wilderness, he, who
knew not sin, and shall not I, vile as a malefactor, accursed as a
leper, do something to prove my penitence and self-abasement? For forty
days I abjure love, joy, domestic endearments, and social pleasures,--I
will live on bread and water,--I will sleep on the uncarpeted floor,--or
pass my nights under the canopy of heaven."
Pale and shuddering I listened to this wild, stem vow, fearing that his
reason was forsaking him. No martyr at the stake ever wore an expression
of more sublime self-sacrifice.
"Alas, my son!" exclaimed his mother, "one tear such as you have shed
this hour is worth a hundred rash vows. Vain and useless are they as the
iron bed, the girdle of steel, the scourge of the fanatic, who expects
to force by self-inflicted tortures the gates of heaven to open. Do you
realize to what sufferings you are dooming the hearts that love you, and
whose happiness is bound up in yours? Do you realize that you are making
our home dark and gloomy as the dungeons of the Inquisition?"
"Not so, my mother; Gabriella shall be free as air, free as before she
breathed her marriage vows. To your care I commit her. Let not one
thought of me cloud the sunshine of the domestic board, or wither one
garland of household joy. I have imposed this penance on myself in
expiation of my offences as a son and as a husband. If I am wrong, may a
merciful God forgive me. The words are uttered, and cannot be recalled.
I cannot add perjury to the dark list of my transgressions. Farewell,
mother; farewell, Gabriella; pray for me. Your prayers will call down
ministering angels, who shall come to me in the hour of nature's agony,
to relieve and sustain me."
He left us, closed the door, and passed down the stairs, which gave a
faint echo to his retreating footsteps. We looked at each other in grief
and amazement, and neither of us spoke for several minutes.
"My poor, misguided boy!" at length burst from his mother's pale lips,
"I fear I was too harsh,--I probed him too deeply,--I have driven him to
the verge of madness. Oh! how difficult it is to deal with a spirit so
strangely, so unhappily constituted! I have tried indulgence, and the
evil seemed to grow with alarming rapidity. I have exercised a parent's
authority, and behold the result. I can do nothing now, but obey his
parting injunction,--pray for him."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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