Ernest Linwood; or, The Inner Life of the AuthorHentz, Caroline Lee
General
Ernest Linwood; or, The Inner Life of the Author
Hentz, Caroline Lee
Fiction
"I might have spared you and myself this foolish scene, then," said I,
deeply mortified at its result. "I have incurred your ridicule, perhaps
your contempt, in vain. We might have parted friends, at least."
"No, by heavens! Gabriella, not friends; we must be something more, or
less than friends. I did not think to say this now, but I can hold it
back no longer. And why should I? 'All my faults perchance thou
knowest.' As was the boy, as is the youth, so most likely will be the
man. No! if you love me, Gabriella,--if I may look forward to the day
when I shall be to you friend, brother, guardian, lover, all in one,--I
shall have such a motive for excellence, such a spring to ambition, that
I will show the world the pattern of a man, such as they never saw
before."
"I wish you had not said this," I answered, averting from his bright and
earnest eye my confused and troubled glance. "We should be so much
happier as friends. We are so young, too. It will be time enough years
hence to talk of such things."
"Too young to love! We are in the very spring-time of our life,--the
season of blossoms and fragrance, music and love,--oh, daughter of
poetry! is it you who utter such a thought? Would you wait for the
sultry summer, the dry autumn, to cultivate the morning flower of
Paradise?"
"I did not dream you had so much hidden romance," said I, smiling at his
metaphorical language, and endeavoring to turn the conversation in a new
channel. "I thought you mocked at sentiment and poetic raptures."
"Love works miracles, Gabriella. You do not answer. You evade the
subject on which all my life's future depends. Is there no chord in your
heart that vibrates in harmony with mine? Are there no memories
associated with the oak trees of the wood, the mossy stone at the
fountain, the sacred rose of the grave, propitious to my early and
ever-growing love?"
He spoke with a depth of feeling of which I had never thought him
possessed. Sincerity and truth dignified every look and tone. Yes! there
were undying memories, now wakened in all their strength, of the
youthful champion of my injured rights, the sympathizing companion of my
darkest hours; the friend, who stood by me when other friends were
unknown. There was many a responsive chord that thrilled at his voice,
and there was another note, a sweet triumphant note never struck before.
The new-born consciousness of woman's power, the joy of being beloved,
the regal sense of newly acquired dominion swelled in my bosom and
flashed from my eye. But _the master-chord was silent_. I knew, I felt
even then, that there was a golden string, down in the very depths of my
heart, too deep for his hand to touch.
I felt grieved and glad. Grieved that I could not give a full response
to his generous offering,--glad that I had capacities of loving, he,
with all his excellences, could never fill. I tried to tell him what I
felt, to express friendship, gratitude, and esteem; but he would not
hear me,--he would not let me go on.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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