Ernest Linwood; or, The Inner Life of the AuthorHentz, Caroline Lee
General
Ernest Linwood; or, The Inner Life of the Author
Hentz, Caroline Lee
Fiction
"Oh, Mr. Regulus!" said I, when I at last liberated my imprisoned voice,
"you honor me too much. I never dreamed of such a,--such a distinction.
I am not worthy of it,--indeed I am not. It makes me very unhappy to
think of your cherishing such feelings for me, who have looked up to you
so long with so much veneration and respect. I will always esteem and
revere you, dear Mr. Regulus,--always think of you with gratitude and
affection; but do not, I entreat you, ever allude again to any other
sentiment. You do not know how very miserable it makes me."
I tried to express myself in the gentlest manner possible, but the poor
man had lost all command of his feelings. He had confined them in his
breast so long, that the moment he released them, they swelled and rose
like the genius liberated from the chest of the fisherman, and refused
to return to the prison-house they had quitted. His brows contracted,
his lips quivered, and turning aside with a spasmodic gesture, he
covered his face with his handkerchief.
I could not bear this,--it quite broke my heart. I felt as remorseful as
if every tear he was hiding was a drop of blood. Walking hastily to him,
and laying my hand on his arm, I exclaimed,--
"Don't, my dear master!" and burst into tears myself.
How foolish we must have appeared to a bystander, who knew the cause of
our tears,--one weeping that he loved too well, the other that she could
not love in return. How ridiculous to an uninterested person would that
tall, awkward, grave man seem, in love with a young girl so much his
junior, so childlike and so unconscious of the influence she had
acquired.
"How foolish this is!" cried he, as if participating in these
sentiments. Then removing the handkerchief from his face, he ran his
fingers vigorously through his hair, till it stood up frantically round
his brow, drew the sleeves of his coat strenuously over his wrists, and
straightening himself to his tall height, seemed resolved to be a man
once more. I smiled afterwards, when I recollected his figure; but I did
not then,--thank heaven, I did not smile then,--I would not have done it
for "the crown the Bourbons lost."
Anxious to close a scene so painful, I approached the door though with a
lingering, hesitating step. I wanted to say something, but knew not what
to utter.
"You will let me be your friend still," said he, taking my hand in both
his. "You will not think worse of me, for a weakness which has so much
to excuse it. And, Gabriella, my dear child, should the time ever come,
when you need a friend and counsellor, should the sky so bright now be
darkened with clouds, remember there is one who would willingly die to
save you from sorrow or evil. Will you remember this?"
"Oh, Mr. Regulus, how could I forget it?"
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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