Swift is most charming when he is feigning to complain of his task: "Here
is such a stir and bustle with this little MD of ours; I must be writing
every night; O Lord, O Lord!" "I must go write idle things, and twittle
twattle." "These saucy jades take up so much of my time with writing to
them in the morning." Is it not a stealthy wrong done upon Mrs. Dingley
that she should be stripped of all these ornaments to her name and
memory? When Swift tells a woman in a letter that there he is "writing
in bed, like a tiger," she should go gay in the eyes of all generations.
They will not let Stella go gay, because of sentiment; and they will not
let Mrs. Dingley go gay, because of sentiment for Stella. Marry come up!
Why did not the historians assign all the tender passages (taken very
seriously) to Stella, and let Dingley have the jokes, then? That would
have been no ill share for Dingley. But no, forsooth, Dingley is allowed
nothing.
There are passages, nevertheless, which can hardly be taken from her. For
now and then Swift parts his dear MD. When he does so he invariably
drops those initials and writes "Stella" or "Ppt" for the one, and "D" or
"Dingley" for the other. There is no exception to this anywhere. He is
anxious about Stella's "little eyes," and about her health generally;
whereas Dingley is strong. Poor Ppt, he thinks, will not catch the "new
fever," because she is not well; "but why should D escape it, pray?" And
Mrs. Dingley is rebuked for her tale of a journey from Dublin to Wexford.
"I doubt, Madam Dingley, you are apt to lie in your travels, though not
so bad as Stella; she tells thumpers." Stella is often reproved for her
spelling, and Mrs. Dingley writes much the better hand. But she is a
puzzle-headed woman, like another. "What do you mean by my fourth
letter, Madam Dinglibus? Does not Stella say you had my fifth, goody
Blunder?" "Now, Mistress Dingley, are you not an impudent slut to except
a letter next packet? Unreasonable baggage! No, little Dingley, I am
always in bed by twelve, and I take great care of myself." "You are a
pretending slut, indeed, with your 'fourth' and 'fifth' in the margin,
and your 'journal' and everything. O Lord, never saw the like, we shall
never have done." "I never saw such a letter, so saucy, so journalish,
so everything." Swift is insistently grateful for their inquiries for
his health. He pauses seriously to thank them in the midst of his
prattle. Both women--MD--are rallied on their politics: "I have a fancy
that Ppt is a Tory, I fancy she looks like one, and D a sort of trimmer."
But it is for Dingley separately that Swift endured a wild bird in his
lodgings. His man Patrick had got one to take over to her in Ireland.
"He keeps it in a closet, where it makes a terrible litter; but I say
nothing; I am as tame as a clout."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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