And We do, from this day, release from all bond, duty, and obligation those who have assisted Us by their counsel and support; leaving it to all such persons to transfer their services to any other master, as seemeth to them best. We decree that Our punchbowl be henceforth consecrated to Our lonely hours and our pleasant recollections; that no one do henceforth apply his lips to its margin; and that all future potentates in this state of Eton do submit to assemble their privy council around a coffee-pot or an urn. And We most earnestly recommend to those dear friends, whom We must perforce leave behind Us, that in all places and conditions they continue to perform their duties in a worshipful manner, always endeavouring to be a credit to the Prince whom they have so long honoured by their service. And now, as Our predecessor, Charles of Germany, in the meridian of his glory, laid down the reins of empire, exchanging the court for the cloister, and the crown for the cowl--even so do We, Peregrine of Clubs, lay down the pen and the paper, exchanging celebrity for obscurity, punch for algebra, the printing-office for Trinity College. And We entreat all those who have Our welfare at heart to remember Us sometimes in their orisons. And so We depart. PEREGRINE. Given in our Club-room, this twenty-eighth day of July, A.D. 1821. THE UNION CLUB. A.D. 1823. The Union Club, of rhetorical fame, Was held at the Red Lion Inn,[9] And there never was Lion so perfectly tame, Or who made such a musical din. ’Tis pleasant to snore, at a quarter before, When the Chairman does nothing in state, But ’tis heaven, ’tis heaven, to waken at seven, And pray for a noisy debate! “What’s the question?”--“Reform.” “What! the old story!”--“Yes, the old story; the common good against the Commons’ House; speechifying _versus_ starvation!” “Oh, but you’re a red-hot Radical?”--“Yes, that’s my key; every man is red-hot who is deep read!” “Reform in Parliament?”--“Yes, the only thing men are agreed upon; for the Outs can’t carry it, and the Ins can’t bear it.” “Infamous! split me!”--“Order, order! Gentlemen will be so good as to take their seats. The question for this evening’s debate is: ‘Would Reform in Parliament have been conducive to the welfare of the country at any period previous to the year 1800?’ To be opened by Mr. Pattison of St. John’s.” And the honourable opener immediately mounts his hobby, and proceeds at a rapid rate over a level road, panting and blowing like a courier. Off he goes! Mounts at Magna Charta, breakfasts with the Long Parliament, dines with William and Anne, and finds himself comfortably at home in the state of the nation.