It was on a journey to Scotland that I passed through the small village
in which the Spanish lady had shrouded her fading beauty and her
breaking heart. I sent up my name to her, and was admitted into her
little drawing-room immediately. Oh! how altered she seemed that day.
All the colour had disappeared from her cheek, and all the freshness
from her lip; she had still the white hand and arm, which I had seen
running so lightly over the strings of her theorbo, but they were wasted
terribly away; and though her long dark locks were braided as carefully
as they had been in happier days, they did not communicate the idea of
brightness and brilliancy which they had been wont to scatter over her
countenance. She endeavoured to rise from the sofa as I entered; but the
effort was too great for her, and she sat down without speaking. She was
evidently dying; and the contrast between the parting and the meeting,
and the vague vision of the past and the melancholy reality of the
present, struck me so forcibly and so sadly, that I stayed with my hand
on the door and burst into tears.
“We are not to weep thus,” she said; “he fell like a true Spaniard, and
I only regret that I was not born a man, that I might have put my rifle
to my shoulder and died with my hand in his. Pray sit down; it is a long
time since I have seen any friend who can talk to me of the old days.”
I suggested that she ought to endeavour to think less of the losses she
had endured, and to dwell more cheerfully on the tranquillity which
might yet be in store for her. “I should despise you now,” she
answered, “if I could think this advice came from your heart. What! you
would have me forget him, whose life was my dearest pleasure, and whose
death is my greatest pride. Look at this ring,” and she took off a small
gold one, and made me remark its motto--_fiel a la muerte_; “he would
not have bade me wear this in remembrance of him, if he had not known
that he was doomed to perish, if he had not known too that I should be
happy afterwards in thinking and dreaming of him.” Then she began to
recall minutely every scene and circumstance of our intimacy; inquiring
about every study or amusement we had meditated or enjoyed together,
whether I had bettered my flute-playing, whether I had studied
landscape, whether I had finished Calderon. She wearied herself with
talking; and then, leaning her head on the cushions, desired me to take
up a book from the table and read to her, that she might hear whether my
pronunciation was improved.
I took up the first that presented itself; it was only a manuscript
book, containing many scraps and fragments from different authors in her
brother’s writing. I laid it down again, and took up the next: it was a
Dante which I had given her: I opened it at random and began to read the
story of Francesca. When I came to the celebrated lines--
Nessun maggior dolore
Che ricordarsi del tempo felice
Nella miseria----
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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