I began to be infinitely plagued by this continual recurrence of
Monsieur Tonson in the shape of a reigning toast. But I was haunted for
more than a week by unceasing and unpitying rumours. The shops were full
of Adèle bonnets and Lepicq shawls; the musicians dedicated their
quadrilles to Miss Lepicq; the Poet’s Corner in the newspaper had always
its stanzas to A---- L----. By her the harp I admired at Schneider’s had
been bespoken; the Arabian I noticed at the riding-house was breaking
for her. By degrees my imagination became more and more engrossed by the
thought which was thus eternally forced upon its notice. I began to
delight in forming conjectures about the extraordinary being who did all
things, and all things well. First, I painted her reserved, retiring,
shrinking from her own praises, and winning, in consequence, many more
than she deserved. Then I drew her wild, piquante, with a little dash of
the masculine, and spirits enough to provoke the advances which her
pride checked in a moment. Sometimes she was alone by the side of a
river stream, reading Shakespeare, and weeping unconsciously as she
read; presently afterwards she was galloping along the hard sands of the
sea-shore, her horse starting in vain from the echoing waters, and her
hair floating long and dark upon the ocean breeze. She was my thought by
day, my vision by night. I became like the lunatic who beholds,
whithersoever he turns his eyes, an unvarying attendant figure, distinct
in shape and hue to his own sight, but impalpable and unperceived to the
gaze of others.
But I had never seen her, and I left the place in all the tortures of
unsatisfied curiosity. If I was to meet her at a ball, she had a plaguy
cold, and was confined to her room; if I looked for her on the public
walk, she was the only person between the ages of seven and seventy who
was not there; if I went to the theatre, she patronized the concert; if
I rode on the downs, she rambled in the forest.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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