And in a small town? Its stage is very restricted; the players soon
tire of playing the parts allotted to them and the real men begin
to appear underneath, with all their weaknesses--that is to say,
with precisely that which makes them men. I have a great liking for
provincial life, for there it is easiest to discern tragedy lurking
beneath an appearance of calm. And just as much as I abhor comedy, I
love tragedy. And, above all, tragi-comedy.
I have heard it said that there are no such seething intestine rancours
and dissensions as in a merchant vessel or a monastery; that whenever
men are obliged to live together, cut off from the rest of the world,
their personalities, their most real and intimate selves, immediately
clash against one another. And I dare say that this is the only way of
attaining that knowledge of ourselves which ought to be our chief aim.
It seems to me scarcely possible that a man should get to know himself
by shutting himself up in the wilderness, contemplating--what? The best
way of knowing one’s self is to clash, heart against heart, that is to
say, rock against rock, with one’s fellow.
I know that I shall be told that I am indulging my love of paradox,
but nevertheless I maintain that if it is true that the most ardent
admirations are those which are disguised in the form of envy, very
often the strongest attractions are those which take the appearance of
hate. In one of these tragi-comic, or rather comi-tragic, small towns
I know two men who, though obliged to see one another constantly in
the way of business, never greet one another in the street and profess
a mutual detestation. Nevertheless at bottom they feel themselves
reciprocally attracted to one another and each one is continually
preoccupied by the other.
These irreconcilable feuds into which small towns are so often divided
are much more favourable to the development of strong personalities
than the bland comedy of a great metropolis, where those who fight a
duel to the death on the public stage embrace one another behind the
scenes. Do you suppose that the tragedy of Romeo and Juliet is possible
in a city that counts its inhabitants by the million?
And I ask you, do you suppose that anyone who sees a multitude of
people in the course of the day, listens to this man to-day, to another
man to-morrow and to another man the day after, and attends twenty
or thirty conferences--do you think that such a one can preserve his
spiritual integrity without any leakage? In such a life a hedgehog
would end by becoming a lamb, its quills would turn into softest
fleece, and for my part I would rather be a hedgehog than a lamb.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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