Esther's defense was disconcerted by this attack. Hazard was bent on
getting back to his old familiar ground, and she let him take it. Her
last hope was that he might be willing to take it, and be made content
with it. If she could but persuade him to forget what had passed, and
return to the footing of friendship which ought never to have been left!
This was what she was made for! Her courage rose as she thought that
perhaps this was possible, and as he sat down before the drawing and
discussed it, she fancied that her object was already gained, and that
this young greyhound at her elbow could be held in a leash and made to
obey a sign.
In a few minutes he had taken again his old friendly place, and if she
did not treat him with all the old familiarity, he still gained ground
enough to warrant him in believing more firmly than ever that she could
not resist his influence so long as he was at her side. They ran on
together in talk about the drawing, until he felt that he might risk
another approach, and his way of doing it was almost too easy and
dexterous.
"What you want to get into your picture," he was saying; "is the air,
which the fall has, of being something final. You can't go beyond
Niagara. The universe seems made for it. Whenever I come here, I find
myself repeating our sonnet: 'Siccome eterna vita e veder dio;' for the
sight of it suggests eternity and infinite power." Then suddenly putting
down the drawing, and looking up to her face, as she stood by his side,
he said: "Do you know, I feel now for the first time the beauty of the
next two verses:
'So, lady, sight of you, in my despair,
Brings paradise to this brief life and frail.'"
"Hush!" said Esther, raising her hand again; "we are friends now and
nothing more."
"Mere friends, are we?" quoted Hazard, with a courageous smile. "No!" he
went on quickly. "I love you. I cannot help loving you. There is no
friendship about it."
"If you tell me so, I must run away again. I shall leave the room.
Remember! I am terribly serious now."
"If you tell me, honestly and seriously, that you love me no longer and
want me to go away, I will leave the room myself," answered Hazard.
"I won't say that unless you force me to it, but I expect you from this
time to help me in carrying out what you know is my duty."
"I will promise, on condition that you prove to me first what your duty
is."
To come back again to their starting point was not encouraging, and they
felt it, but this time Esther was determined to be obeyed even if it
cost her a lover as well as a husband. She did not flinch.
"What more proof do you need? I am not fit to be a clergyman's wife. I
should be a scandal in the church, and you would have to choose between
it and me."
"I know you better," said Hazard calmly. "You will find all your fears
vanish if you once boldly face them."
"I have tried," said Esther. "I tried desperately and failed utterly."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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