Hazard shook his head: "I can suggest nothing more spiritual than what
came from the spirit itself, and has from all time satisfied the purest
and most spiritual souls."
"If I could make myself contented with what satisfied them, I would do
it for your sake," answered Esther. "It must be that we are in a new
world now, for I can see nothing spiritual about the church. It is all
personal and selfish. What difference does it make to me whether I
worship one person, or three persons, or three hundred, or three
thousand. I can't understand how you worship any person at all."
Hazard literally groaned, and his involuntary expression so irritated
Esther that she ran on still more recklessly.
"Do you really believe in the resurrection of the body?" she asked.
"Of course I do!" replied Hazard stiffly.
"To me it seems a shocking idea. I despise and loathe myself, and yet
you thrust self at me from every corner of the church as though I loved
and admired it. All religion does nothing but pursue me with self even
into the next world."
Esther had become very animated in the course of her remarks, and not
the less so because she saw Hazard frown and make gestures of impatience
as she passed from one sacrilege to another. At last he turned at bay,
and broke out:
"Do you think all this is new to me? I know by heart all these
criticisms of the church. I have heard them in one form and another ever
since I was a boy at school. They are all equally poor and ignorant.
They touch no vital point, for they are made by men, like your cousin
George Strong, from whom I suppose you got them, who know nothing of the
church or its doctrines or its history. I'll not argue over them. Let
them go for whatever you may think they are worth. I will only put to
you one question and no more. If you answer it against me, I will go
away, and never annoy you again. You say the idea of the resurrection is
shocking to you. Can you, without feeling still more shocked, think of a
future existence where you will not meet once more father or mother,
husband or children? surely the natural instincts of your sex must save
you from such a creed!"
"Ah!" cried Esther, almost fiercely, and blushing crimson, as though
Hazard this time had pierced the last restraint on her self-control:
"Why must the church always appeal to my weakness and never to my
strength! I ask for spiritual life and you send me back to my flesh and
blood as though I were a tigress you were sending back to her cubs. What
is the use of appealing to my sex? the atheists at least show me respect
enough not to do that!"
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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