So, unconscious of pain, unconscious of any physical sense, I existed on
and on, enthralled, age after age passed and piled upon one another, for
time was to me unchangeable, no more an entity. I now prayed for change
of any kind, and envied the very devils in hell their pleasures, for
were they not gifted with the power of motion, could they not hear, and
see, and realize the pains they suffered? I prayed for death--death
absolute, death eternal. Then, at last, the darkness seemed to lessen,
and I saw the frozen earth beneath, the monstrous crags of ice above,
the raging tempest about, for I now had learned by reflection to
perceive by pure intellect, to see by the light within. My body, solid
as stone, was fixed and preserved in a waste of ice. The world was
frozen. I perceived that the sun, and moon, and stars, nearly stilled,
dim and motionless, had paled in the cold depths of space. The universe
itself was freezing, and amid the desolation only my deserted intellect
remained. Age after age had passed, aeons of ages had fled, nation after
nation had grown and perished, and in the uncounted epochs behind,
humanity had disappeared. Unable to free itself from the frozen body, my
own intellect remained the solitary spectator of the dead silence about.
At last, beneath my vision, the moon disappeared, the stars faded one by
one, and then I watched the sun grow dim, until at length only a milky,
gauze-like film remained to indicate her face, and then--vacancy. I had
lived the universe away. And in perfect darkness the living intellect,
conscious of all that had transpired in the ages past, clung still
enthralled to the body of the frozen mortal. I thought of my record in
the distant past, of the temptations I had undergone, and called myself
a fool, for, had I listened to the tempter, I could at least have
suffered, I could have had companionship even though it were of the
devils--in hell. I lived my life over and over, times without number; I
thought of my tempters, of the offered cups, and thinking, argued with
myself:
"No," I said; "no, I had made the promise, I have faith in Etidorhpa,
and were it to do over again I would not drink."
Then, as this thought sped from me, the ice scene dissolved, the
enveloped frozen form of myself faded from view, the sand shrunk into
nothingness, and with my natural body, and in normal condition, I found
myself back in the earth cavern, on my knees, beside the curious
inverted fungus, of which fruit I had eaten in obedience to my guide's
directions. Before me the familiar figure of my guide stood, with folded
arms, and as my gaze fell upon him he reached out his hand and raised me
to my feet.
"Where have you been during the wretched epochs that have passed since I
last saw you?" I asked.
"I have been here," he replied, "and you have been there."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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