I had begun now to feel a self-confidence that is surprising as I recall
that remarkable position in connection with my narrow experience in true
science, and can say that instead of despondency, I really enjoyed an
elated sensation, a curious exhilaration, a feeling of delight, which I
have no words to describe. Life disturbances and mental worry seemed to
have completely vanished, and it appeared as if, with mental perception
lucid, I were under the influence of a powerful soporific; the cares of
mortals had disappeared. After a while the wind ceased to blow, as my
guide had predicted, and with the suspension of that factor, all that
remained to remind me of earth phenomena had vanished. There was no
motion of material, nothing to mar or disturb the most perfect peace
imaginable; I was so exquisitely happy that I now actually feared some
change might occur to interrupt that quiescent existence. It was as a
deep, sweet sleep in which, with faculties alive, unconsciousness was
self-conscious, peaceful, restful, blissful. I listlessly turned my
eyes, searching space in all directions--to meet vacancy everywhere,
absolute vacancy. I took from my pocket (into which I had hastily thrust
it) the bar of iron, and released it; the metal remained motionless
beside me.
"Traveling through this expanse with the rapidity of ourselves," said my
guide.
I closed my eyes and endeavored to convince myself that I was
dreaming--vainly, however. I opened my eyes, and endeavored to convince
myself that I was moving, equally in vain. I became oblivious to
everything save the delicious sensation of absolute rest that enveloped
and pervaded my being.
"I am neither alive nor dead," I murmured; "neither asleep nor awake;
neither moving nor at rest, and neither standing, reclining, nor
sitting. If I exist I can not bring evidence to prove that fact, neither
can I prove that I am dead."
"Can any man prove either of these premises?" said the guide.
"I have never questioned the matter," said I; "it is a self-evident
fact."
"Know then," said he, "that existence is a theory, and that man is
incapable of demonstrating that he has a being. All evidences of mortal
life are only as the phantasms of hallucination. As a moment in
dreamland may span a life of time, the dreamer altogether unconscious
that it is a dream, so may life itself be a shadow, the vision of a
distempered fancy, the illusion of a floating thought."
"Are pain, pleasure, and living, imaginary creations?" I asked
facetiously.
"Is there a madman who does not imagine, as facts, what others agree
upon as hallucinations peculiar to himself? Is it not impossible to
distinguish between different gradations of illusions, and is it not,
therefore, possible that even self-existence is an illusion? What
evidence can any man produce to prove that his idea of life is not a
madman's dream?"
"Proceed," I said.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
Reviews
Reviews
No reviews yet
Be the first to share your thoughts on this work.
Elsewhere in the archive
Join the Discussion
Join the discussion
Sign in to leave a comment or review.
Sign InorCreate an account