It is not just to be too lenient, any more than it is just to be
unreasonably strict. To allow impertinence or sloppy work is inexcusable,
but it is equally inexcusable to show causeless irritability or to be
overbearing or rude. And there is no greater example of injustice than to
reprimand those about you because you happen to be in a bad humor, and at
another time overlook offenses that are greater because you are in an
amiable mood.
There is also no excuse for "correcting" either a servant or a child
before people.
[Illustration: "THE PERFECT MISTRESS SHOWS ALL THOSE IN HER EMPLOY THE
CONSIDERATION AND TRUST DUE THEM AS HONORABLE SELF-RESPECTING AND
CONSCIENTIOUS HUMAN BEINGS." [Page 157.]]
And when you do correct, do not forget to make allowances, if there be
any reason why allowance should be made.
If you live in a palace like Golden Hall, or any completely equipped house
of important size, you overlook _nothing!_ There is no more excuse for
delinquency than there is in the Army. If anything happens, such as
illness of one servant, there is another to take his (or her) place. A
huge household is a machine and it is the business of the engineers--in
other words, the secretary, housekeeper, chef or butler, to keep it going
perfectly.
But in a little house, it may not be fair to say "Selma, the silver is
dirty!" when there is a hot-air furnace and you have had company to every
meal, and you have perhaps sent her on errands between times, and she has
literally not had a moment. If you don't know whether she has had time or
not, you could give her the benefit of the doubt and say (trustfully, not
haughtily) "You have not had time to clean the silver, have you?" This--in
case she has really been unable to clean it--points out just as well the
fact that it is not shining, but is not a criticism. Carelessness, on the
other hand, when you know she has had plenty of time, should never be
overlooked.
Another type that has "difficulties" is the distrustful--sometimes
actually suspicious--person who locks everything tight and treats all
those with whom she comes in contact as though they were meddlesomely
curious at least, or at worst, dishonest. It is impossible to overstate
the misfortune of this temperament. The servant who is "watched" for fear
she "won't work," listened to for fear she may be gossiping, suspected of
wanting to take a liberty of some sort, or of doing something else she
shouldn't do, is psychologically encouraged, almost driven, to do these
very things.
The perfect mistress expects perfect service, but it never occurs to her
that perfect service will not be voluntarily and gladly given. She, on her
part, shows all of those in her employ the consideration and trust due
them as honorable, self-respecting and conscientious human beings. If she
has reason to think they are not all this, a lady does not keep them in
her house.
=ETIQUETTE OF SERVICE=
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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