"R" or "L" is occasionally written on the lady's name card in the
envelopes given to the gentlemen, or if it is such a big dinner that there
are many separate tables, the tables are numbered with standing placards
(as at a public dinner) and the table number written on each lady's name
card.
=THE MANNERS OF A HOSTESS=
First of all, a hostess must show each of her guests equal and impartial
attention. Also, although engrossed in the person she is talking to, she
must be able to notice anything amiss that may occur. The more competent
her servants, the less she need be aware of details herself, but the
hostess giving a formal dinner with uncertain dining-room efficiency has a
far from smooth path before her. No matter what happens, if all the china
in the pantry falls with a crash, she must not appear to have heard it. No
matter what goes wrong she must cover it as best she may, and at the same
time cover the fact that she is covering it. To give hectic directions,
merely accentuates the awkwardness. If a dish appears that is
unpresentable, she as quietly as possible orders the next one to be
brought in. If a guest knocks over a glass and breaks it, even though the
glass be a piece of genuine Steigel, her only concern must seemingly be
that her guest's place has been made uncomfortable. She says, "I am so
sorry, but I will have it fixed at once!" The broken glass is _nothing!_
And she has a fresh glass brought (even though it doesn't match) and
dismisses all thought of the matter.
Both the host and hostess must keep the conversation going, if it lags,
but this is not as definitely their duty at a formal, as at an informal
dinner It is at the small dinner that the skilful hostess has need of what
Thackeray calls the "showman" quality. She brings each guest forward in
turn to the center of the stage. In a lull in the conversation she says
beguilingly to a clever but shy man, "John, what was that story you told
me----" and then she repeats briefly an introduction to a topic in which
"John" particularly shines. Or later on, she begins a narrative and
breaks off suddenly, turning to some one else, "_You_ tell them!"
These examples are rather bald, and overemphasize the method in order to
make it clear. Practise and the knowledge of human nature, or of the
particular temperament with which she is trying to deal, can alone tell
her when she may lead or provoke this or that one to being at his best, to
his own satisfaction as well as that of the others who may be present. Her
own character and sympathy are the only real "showman" assets, since no
one "shows" to advantage except in a congenial environment.
=THE LATE GUEST=
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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