There used to be a chaperon into whose care a young girl could be
committed; there used to be the "dance card", or programme (still in vogue
at public balls) that allotted a certain dance to a certain gentleman and
lady equally. There used to be the cotillion which, while cruel, at least
committed its acts of cruelty with merciful dispatch. When the cotillion
began, the girl who had no partner--went home. She had to. Now, once she
has acquired a companion, he is planted beside her until another takes his
place. It is this fact and no other which is responsible for the dread
that the average young girl feels in facing the ordeal of a ballroom, and
for the discourteous unconcern shown by dancing men who under other
conditions would be friendly.
The situation of a young girl, left cruelly alone, draws its own picture,
but the reason for the callous and ill-mannered behavior of the average
dancing man, may perhaps need a word of explanation.
For instance: Jim Smartlington, when he was a senior at college, came down
to the Toploftys' ball on purpose to see Mary Smith. Very early, before
Mary arrived, he saw a Miss Blank, a girl he had met at a dinner in
Providence, standing at the entrance of the room. Following a casual
impulse of friendliness he asked her to dance. She danced badly. No one
"cut in" and they danced and danced, sat down and danced again. Mary
arrived. Jim walked Miss Blank near the "stag" line and introduced several
men, who bowed and slid out of sight with the dexterity of eels who
recognized a hook. From half-past ten until supper at half-past one, Jim
was "planted." He was then forced to tell her he had a partner for supper,
and left her at the door of the dressing-room. There was no other place to
"leave her." He felt like a brute and a cad, even though he had waited
nearly three hours before being able to speak to the girl he had come
purposely to see.
There really is something to be said on the man's side; especially on that
of one who has to get up early in the morning and who, only intending to
see one or two particular friends and then go home, is forced because of
an impulse of courtesy not only to spend an endless and exhausting
evening, but to be utterly unfit for his work next day.
One is equally sorry for the girl! But in the example above her stupid
handling of the situation not only spoiled one well-intentioned man's
evening, but completely "finished" herself so far as her future chances
for success were concerned. Not alone her partner but every brother-stag
who stood in the doorway mentally placarded her "Keep off." It is
suicidal for a girl to make any man spend an entire evening with her. If
at the end of two dances, there is no intimate friend she can signal to,
or an older lady she can insist on being left with, she should go home;
and if the same thing happens several times, she should not go to balls.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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