There is said to be still preserved somewhere in Massachusetts a
whispering reed through the long hollow length of which lovers were wont
to whisper messages of tenderness to each other while separated by a
room's length and the inevitable chaperonage of the fiancée's entire
family.
From those days to these is a far cry, but even in this era of liberty and
naturalness of impulse, running the gauntlet of people's attention and
criticism is no small test of the good taste and sense of a young couple.
The hall-mark of so-called "vulgar people" is unrestricted display of
uncontrolled emotions. No one should ever be made to feel like withdrawing
in embarrassment from the over-exposed privacy of others. The shrew who
publicly berates her husband is no worse than the engaged pair who snuggle
in public. Every one supposes that lovers kiss each other, but people of
good taste wince at being forced to play audience at love scenes which
should be private. Furthermore, such cuddling gives little evidence of the
deeper caring--no matter how ardent the demonstration may be.
Great love is seldom flaunted in public, though it very often shows itself
in pride--that is a little obvious, perhaps. There is a quality of
protectiveness in a man's expression as it falls on his betrothed, as
though she were so lovely a breath might break her; and in the eyes of a
girl whose love is really deep, there is always evidence of that most
beautiful look of championship, as though she thought: "No one else can
possibly know how wonderful he is!"
This underlying tenderness and pride which is at the base of the attitude
of each, only glints beneath the surface of perfect comradeship. Their
frank approval of whatever the other may do or say is very charming; and
even more so is their obvious friendliness toward all people, of wanting
the whole world beautiful for all because it is so beautiful to them. That
is love--as it should be! And its evidence is a very sure sign-post
pointing to future happiness.
=ETIQUETTE OF ENGAGED PEOPLE=
It is unnecessary to say that an engaged man shows no attention whatever
to other women. It should be plain to every one, even though he need not
behave like a moon-calf, that "one" is alone in his thoughts.
Often it so happens that engaged people are very little together, because
he is away at work, or for other reasons. Rather than sit home alone, she
may continue to go out in society, which is quite all right, but she must
avoid being with any one man more than another and she should remain
visibly within the general circle of her group. It always gives gossip a
chance to see an engaged girl sitting out dances with any particular man,
and slander is never far away if any evidence of ardor creeps into their
regard, even if it be merely "manner," and actually mean nothing at all.
=IN THE BACKWATERS OF LONG ENGAGEMENT=
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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